Clayton's Blessing

Well, now that it's been over 2 months since Clayton was blessed, I thought I'd finally post about it. Really, it just took me that long to get the pics downloaded to my computer.

Isn't he the cutest little guy? The morning of his blessing was a little hectic for me. (Details in this post.) But, Clayton was a little trooper. He was very calm all morning--he ate when I needed him to, slept when I needed him to, and even smiled when I needed him to. And, I think he is my first kid to not scream right before/after taking pics. He did fuss a little (a very little) just as Sacrament meeting was starting. I stood at the back and rocked him and he was asleep within a couple of minutes. Ryan gave Clayton a beautiful blessing. It talked a lot about missionary work and sharing his testimony. I am profoundly grateful that my husband is able to bless my children. And, I'm also incredibly grateful for such a sweet little boy!

Electricity vs. Fire

Six years ago, at this time of year, Ryan and I were in the midst of falling in love. (Now that I think about it, we're still in the midst of falling in love.) :) We started dating November 21 and were engaged on January 24. My entire life, I wanted a Christmas/winter romance--and that's what I got. Happy memories are constantly coming to mind during this season and I can't help but think about what has brought us to this point.

Recently, I read a book that was a little more on the romance side than I generally prefer. I am NOT a romance novel fan. Some of you are shocked by this. In thinking about the story line of the book and comparing it to the story line of my life, I realized there's a big difference between electricity and fire.

When I was in college, I dated one guy and I felt actual electricity when he was around. It was so strong that I was suprised there weren't little blue sparks shooting around me when he was around. While it was fun, the electricity wasn't enough to spark a real romance and we broke up after about 6 weeks. You see, electricity is something that can be started with a switch. It doesn't take much effort to flip a light switch on...or off, for that matter. Once the light is on, there's not a lot I have to do to keep it going. Until the lightbulb burns out. Or until I decide I'm done with that room, turn off the light, and move on.

On the other hand, what I felt when I started dating Ryan had nothing to do with sparks. It was all about warmth and depth. It's really hard to explain the feeling, but it felt like the glow of a small fire inside of me. The more that I spent time with Ryan, the bigger and warmer the fire grew. Here's the thing--starting a fire takes effort. There are certain steps that need to be taken to stack the kindling and wood in preparation for a roaring fire. And, once it's going, it takes work and effort to keep it going. You have to stack the wood, rearrange the wood, and keep the water away. If a fire is neglected, it will eventually die out on its own. Even when doused with water, you have to stir the embers and check for hot spots before you can be sure it's out.

I'm not sure what made the difference between the sparks I felt with some and the fire I felt from the beginning with Ryan. What I am sure of is that I have the most amazing husband I could have ever hoped for. On these growing-ever-colder winter nights, the fire of his love still warms my heart.

A Good Quote

I was reading a few articles this morning and found a quote that I really like. Here it is:

Latter-day Saint women should understand that no matter how many other people they enlist to help them with their home and children, they cannot delegate their role as the primary nurturer and teacher of their families. Righteous motherhood will always stretch every reserve they have to meet the needs of their families. As a daughter of God who has made covenants with Him, each of you carries the vital and indispensable female half of the responsibility for fulfilling the Lord’s plan.

Each of you has the agency to prayerfully and humbly choose how to approach your career opportunities. Every choice has a consequence. You cannot have everything and do everything. You must choose with eternal priorities in mind. I would hope that you will understand that there are no glamorous careers. Every form of employment has its own innate challenges. Many choices available in the world today compete with eternal goals and responsibilities. Many choices could persuade you to delay or limit the number of children you invite into your family. Many choices could rob you of critical time and energy necessary to adequately care for your spouse, your children, and your responsibilities in the Lord’s kingdom. These decisions are between you and the Lord. He knows the desires of your heart and your unique situation.

Julie B. Beck, Unlocking the Door to the Blessings of Abraham, CES Fireside, March 2, 2008

Holiday Wish List: Sleigh of Gifts

I was recently alerted about the amazing giveaway on todaysmama.com. The gifts are all amazing and I just can't pass up a chance! Here's my entry:

Mama’s Holiday Wish List Meme

TodaysMama and Provo Craft are giving away a sleighful of gifts this holiday season and to enter I’m sharing this meme with you.

1. What 5 items are on your holiday wish list this year? Crock-Pot, purse, grill pan, Willow Tree Nativity, clothes
2. What is your favorite handmade gift you have received? My mission angel quilt
3. What handmade gift have you always wanted to tackle? Definitely a quilt--I even have the pattern all picked out. Just need the time.
4. What was the best Christmas gift you received as a child? Opal ring. I was 16--does that count as being a child still?
5. What items are on your kid’s wish list this year? Kallie wants a bike and a pink trumpet. Whitney wants anything baby/princess related. Clayton wants...hmm...to try solid foods?
6. What is your favorite holiday food? Any homemade goodies the neighbors drop off. I love trying new things!
7. What will you be hand-crafting for the holidays? Not sure--at least 10 cards for the card swap. Maybe a few items related to Whitney's wish list.
8. What is your favorite holiday movie? Meet Me in St. Louis; Elf
9. Favorite holiday song? Oh Holy Night
10. Favorite holiday pastime? Rolling the ball (family tradition); caroling with friends

My Favorite Things

I've been thinking about this post a lot lately. There are so many things I use that I completely enjoy--and I decided I'd post about them, just in case someone else could like them as much as I do! Here's the list, (not in any particular order):

1. Cetaphil Cream - This cream has been a LIFESAVER for all three of my children. My love for this began when Kallie got baby acne so badly that her face was crusty and oozing. The Dr. told me to use Aquaphor--which didn't make one bit of difference. A mom from my ward recommended Cetaphil Cream (not the lotion, but the cream in the jar) and as soon as I found it, the acne cleared up immediately. With both Whitney and Clayton, I headed the acne off by using this cream before it could even get going. It's the best stuff ever! (And, I love to use it on my dry, post-pregnancy skin, too.)

2. My Brest Friend Nursing Pillow - Where was this thing when I had Kallie? This is the greatest nursing pillow of all time. Instead of a rounded pillow, like the Boppy, this pillow is made from squared off foam so the baby doesn't roll out or in. And, it has a buckle so I can strap it around my body. I love this feature! It's very supportive and extremely helpful when Clayton has to eat on the run, meaning I'm running around the house taking care of my 2 other kiddos. Everyone I've talked to about "My Brest Friend" has shared the same appreciation for it as I have. Not to mention, the women's center at the hospital where Clayton was born ONLY sells "My Brest Friend." They stopped selling the Boppy because it just wasn't as good for nursing moms.

3. Nature's Valley Roasted Almond Granola Bars - I've always been a fan of Nature Valley's crunchy granola bars. And, I love the flavor of almonds. So, what could be more delicious than those 2 things combined? They're my new favorite snack. I have to ration them to myself. (I just saw on their website that there's also a "Pecan Crunch" flavor. Haven't tried them, but those could also be a favorite thing!)

4. Scentsy - I love my Scentsy warmers and bars! For those who aren't aware of what these are, they are a wickless candle which is melted in a warmer powered by a low-watt lightbulb. The bars come in amazing scents and you can change out your scent any time you want. I recently got a plug-in warmer for my Master bathroom. It makes my bathroom and bedroom (and the entire upstairs) smell heavenly! (P.S. If you're interested in Scentsy, let me know--I plan to host a Scentsy party soon...)

5. Kirkland Diapers - Ryan calls me a diaper snob. When Kallie was born, we tried every possible brand of diapers that was out there. And, I hated them all, (yes ALL), except Pampers Swaddlers or Pampers Cruisers. They simply had all of the features that I liked. However, once I tried Costco's Kirkland brand, I was hooked. They have most of the features that I loved about the Pampers, but aren't as expensive as the name brands. Since that time, we have been loyal to the Kirkland Diapers. I was thrilled when they came out with their size 1-2 box, which wasn't available with my first 2 kids.

6. The Books of Bayern- This book series, written by Shannon Hale, includes "The Goose Girl," "Enna Burning," and "River Secrets." All three books provide a wonderful escape. While I have enjoyed all the Shannon Hale books I've read so far, (some more, some less), this series tops the list. Apparently, there's another book in the Bayern series that recently came out called, "Forest Born." Haven't read it yet--but I'm pretty sure I'm going to like it. Another Shannon Hale favorite? Book of a Thousand Days. Right up there with the Books of Bayern.

7. Cook n' Serve Tortillas - When I was a missionary, one of the popular things to do in my mission was to make our own tortillas. They were easy to throw together, but required a lot of rolling. And, our circles never turned out quite right. When I came home, I made them a few times, but they lost their appeal, since it was just easier to buy them. A few years ago, we discovered the Cook n' Serve tortillas at Costco. (Costco itself should be on this list.) It was the freshness and flavor of the homemade tortillas combined with the ease of buying them from the store. We will never go back to pre-cooked tortillas again!

8. Sotto Voce - The first time Ryan and I went to Pike Place Market 5 1/2 years ago, I discovered a store called "Sotto Voce." They sell gourmet flavored olive oils along with all sorts of vinegars. Each olive oil is infused with garlic, then various herbs are added in to the glass bottle enhance the flavor. Not only are they delicious, they are beautiful! I love to add mine to just about anything I'm cooking or sauteing--and I'll even use it to dip bread in every once in a while. It's something I just can't get enough of.

9. Paperbackswap.com - I first heard about the Paperback Swap a few years ago while I was living in Wymount. At the time, I didn't think I wanted to part with any of my books. However, as I sat staring at my bookshelf a few weeks ago, I realized there were books on there that I didn't care if I ever read again. So, I joined the swap. You begin by listing your books (usually by ISBN number) on their website. Once someone requests your book, you wrap it up and mail it off to the requester. When they receive it, they inform the website and you earn one credit. Each credit is good for one book. The books must be in good condition--no highlighting or marking and you are responsible for paying the shipping, (which is usually $2.38, since they're shipped via media mail). It's a great way to get rid of books you're not planning to read again and find a few that you would like to read. I've already mailed off 2 books and requested one. It's a great way to recycle those old books!

10. The Children's Place - I have loved this place for a few years now. I'm pretty sure I've posted about them before. Their customer service is awesome! And, they have a birthday club that sends you a 15% off coupon in the month of your birth, as well as the month of birth of each of your kids. It's good for the entire month, online or in their store. And, you can use the coupon on sale items as well. Plus, shipping is only $5 from their website. Depending on how close you live to one, that's cheaper than gas! (FYI--Grandparents also qualify for the birthday club.)

So--there is my list. It's not comprehensive, just a few of my current favorite things. My challenge to you now is to think about your favorite things and post a list on your blog! I always have room for a few more faves.

Christmas Card Swap!

Every year, Kids' Craft Weekly (kidscraftweekly.com) hosts a Christmas card swap. The deal is that your kids make 10 cards and mail them to other families around the world. In turn, you receive 10 cards from around the world. We participated two years ago--and it was a lot of fun! We received cards from Brazil, the U.S., and Australia. The main rule is that your kids have to make the cards and it's preferred that they're mailed out by December 1. The cards we received were not ornate or complicated in any way. And, it's especially fun for your kids to get some mail of their own. Anyway--I know a lot of moms I know would like to do something like this--so head over to their website and check it out! (And, P.S. the 10 cards really don't take long to make!)

So many posts...

I have so many posts floating around in my head...and so little two-handed time to write them. At least my (small) faithful readership can expect such goodies as: Clayton's Blessing, Parents in Town, Electricity vs. Fire, The Cook-Off, My Favorite Things, and Halloween Festivities. I can't guarantee a time line on any of these--or that the title will remain the same. I know you're waiting anxiously to read up on any of these topics. For that reason, I'll get them written and published as soon as humanly (mommy-ly) possible.

Just when I was starting to get comfortable...

Almost a year and a half ago, I was put into the Primary in our Wymount ward. I really enjoyed being in Primary--but, I was looking forward to being back in Relief Society after we moved last December. There's just something about the sociality of women that I enjoy being part of. I attended RS for about a month or so before I was called into Primary again. This time, I was asked to teach the 9-turning-10 year old class.

When I accepted the calling, I was early in my first trimester of pregnancy, didn't know anyone in the ward, and realized that since this isn't a student ward, my calling was probably going to last much longer than one year. I also had a hard time connecting with the kids in my class. Because of these factors, I really struggled to embrace my calling. After a couple of months, I was reassigned to teach the other 9-turning-10 year old class. This time, the kids were a MUCH better fit for me. Although I didn't dread Sunday anymore, I still didn't have the enthusiasm I wanted to have for Primary.

Then Clayton was born and I stayed home from church with him for about a month. The Sunday I went back, my co-teacher was supposed to teach, so I ended up going to Relief Society instead. As I sat through the lesson, I could hear the Primary children singing in the room next door. I looked around the room and realized that I really didn't know very many people in RS--while I knew almost everyone in Primary. Suddenly, my heart was turned because from that moment on, I wanted to be in Primary. I was ready for the long haul and looked forward to teaching my class the next Sunday.

In spite of my concerns about how everything would work with a newborn, the next Sunday was wonderful! I felt energized and it was great to be back with my class. Everything worked out great with Clayton and I felt like the kids were glad to see me again. Then the Saturday after General Conference, I got a phone call from the Bishop asking if I would meet with him the next morning. The winds of change started blowing in my mind. We were blessing Clayton that Sunday and everyone was coming over for dinner after church--so I had a lot to keep me busy. Unfortunately, that didn't silence the wonderings in my mind.

The next morning continued to be busy as I got ready for my interview. I arrived at the appointed time and the Bishop called me into his office. He released me from my Primary calling and then explained that they were reorganizing the Relief Society Presidency, and they would like to call me as the First Counselor, (Education & Music). Of course, I accepted. The change was made that day and we were set apart that afternoon. Tomorrow will be our first official Sunday as a Presidency.

Here are the things that stand out to me about this:

• In spite of my baby being 2 months old, I feel the best I've ever felt post-partum. I have the energy and the mental capacity to handle this calling at this time. What a blessing.
• The new RS President, who requested me as a counselor, didn't know anything about me when she requested me. She didn't even know my first name until things were official. This makes me feel like this really was inspired.
• Just when I learned to love being in Primary, I was released. Mission accomplished, I guess. :)

Overall, I'm really excited about this calling. I love gospel teaching! I know that Heavenly Father has provided experiences for me to prepare me for this and I'm grateful for the opportunity to serve the sisters in our ward.

Revolutionary

I realized a few days ago that all of my cookie sheets and loaf pans are the dark, coated metal kind. It dawned on me that on the back of every cake box I've read, instructions are to bake 25 degrees lower in those types of pans. My recent experimental goodies, (cranberry oatmeal white chocolate chip cookies and pumpkin gingerbread), have proven this is very sound advice. The cookies bottoms and crusts of my quick breads are no longer overdone. My baking has been revolutionized.

Applied Escape

As a follow-up to my last post, I had to recount something that happened in Primary on Sunday. It was my first day back teaching my class of 9-turning-10-year old kids. The kids were a little crazy and out of hand. I'm a fairly strict and structured teacher, but since I hadn't been there for over a month, they were pushing the limits again. One of the boys is consistently more distracting than the others, but he seemed to enjoy interjecting random comments throughout the lesson. As I tried to refocus his thoughts, (yet again), one of the girls said, "It must be wrackspurts." And I almost laughed! If you're not familiar with a wrackspurt, it's from Harry Potter--and is an invisible mass that floats near (or into) your head for the purpose of distracting you. I love that I knew exactly what a wrackspurt was because of my recent reads. And, she seemed surprised when I told her I knew all about it. I guess reading pays off for a more than just a great escape!

The Great Escape

Someone asked me some time ago why is it that I read. Good question. As I've pondered, it occurred to me that some people read for information, some people read for companionship, but me? I read to escape. There's nothing that can compare with immersing yourself in a fictional world and letting your mind create the optimal setting.

Keeping this in mind, I recently read the Harry Potter series. In fact, I just finished the final book about 15 minutes ago. The first few books were a fun escape. But, as the plot thickened, I found myself torn--did I really want to go back to that tumultuous world? A world that in so many ways mirrors our own tumultuous world? Where was the escape in that? But, I couldn't leave Harry hanging mid-crisis--so I returned again and again.

Two days ago, I read the end of Book 6. My heart was heavy and I didn't think I could continue to read. I asked Ryan several times if the series really ended up "happily ever after"? He reassured me over and over that he thought I would certainly be satisfied with the ending. It was only with this reassurance that I was able to start the final book. Once I started, I couldn't read fast enough. I tore through the story because I HAD to get to the happy ending. The only downside is that once I reached, "All was well," I was disappointed. Not in the story--but that there wasn't more of it. Now that I know what happens, I want to go back and take a leisurely stroll in Potter-land. I want to hang out with the characters a little more and continue to explore the magical world I have visited frequently in the last 2 weeks.

Unfortunately, this is the down side of the reading escape. Once you're done with a book, the escape is gone and you have to find another fitting escape to delve into next. After the intense escape Harry provided, I think whatever comes next should be a little more calm. Any suggestions? (For escapes I've already enjoyed, check out the goodreads widget in the right hand column.)

Time to Mop?

My 2-year old decided the other day that the downstairs bathroom floor needed to be mopped. How did she communicate this to me? I'll show you:

She climbed on the toilet and turned on the water.

She decided to replace the plug with toilet paper. Here's a hint--toilet paper doesn't work as a drain plug unless you use a LOT of it. Her communication would have been incomplete if it had included a working overflow drain.

Fortunately, Kallie was paying attention to Whitney and relayed the mopping request just in time. When I arrived at the bathroom, (I had been upstairs), there was at least an inch of standing water sparking from the bathroom into the laundry room. The sink was still on, still clogged with t.p., and the overflow drain was still not working. Actions certainly speak louder than words because I heard Whitney's mopping request loud and clear. As a reward for her stellar communication skills, I sent her to her room.

Thirty minutes, a 2/3 full 2-gallon bucket, and four soggy towels later...

...Whitney's request was granted. The floor had been mopped.

Tiny Dancers

This week, my girls (and I, by default) took on a new adventure: dance class! Monday night, we went out to purchase their clothing. The excitement level was WAY over the top and the girls could hardly contain themselves. I don't know how many times I had to ask one or the other to please just walk, instead of hopping, jumping, twisting, and/or shouting, so they wouldn't yank my arm off or run into someone. When Whitney realized that her class was the next day, she cried. We had to convince her it really was going to happen. Kallie also ended the evening in disappointment, as she had to wait until Wednesday for her turn. (Once we explained it was only 2 sleeps, she managed to build up her excitement again.)

The morning of each of their classes, they woke up early and then begged to put on their "ballet outfits." Being the mean mom that I am, I made them wait until right before we were leaving to put them on. After a few pics, we headed out the door.

Whitney's Ballet Clothes

When we tell Whitney, "Pose!" this is what she does.
Whitney's Ballet Hair

Kallie's Ballet Clothes

Kallie's Ballet Hair

The classes could not have gone better! Well, maybe Whitney's could have. A couple of younger girls were nervous being away from their mom, so they cried, which was a bit upsetting to all of the kids. But, Whitney loved it and can't wait to go again! Kallie also cannot wait for Wednesday to roll around. She got to pretend that her teacher was Little Red Riding Hood and skip around the room with her. (The girls were playing LRRH's friends.)

I am really looking forward to watching these little ones learn and grow through theses classes. I have wonderful memories of dance class when I was little and I can't wait for my daughters to have dance memories of their own!

The Countdown

The girls are looking forward to having Grandma and Grandpa come in a few weeks for Clayton's blessing. Almost every day, we would have to review how many sleeps until their arrival. I decided giving the girls a visual reminder would be a great way to help them better understand what 28 days (at the time) looked like. So, I did what every other not-incredibly-creative person would do: made a paper chain! Kallie and Whitney helped, too. As of today, I believe we're at 23 days.

Clayton: One Month

For those who want to see what Clayton looks like...

At the Park

Last week, the girls begged me to go to the park. I told them if they could finish a few chores by a certain time, we would go. They finished just in time--so we went. I've made a goal to improve my photography skills, so I took the camera along. Here's how it went:


On the way to the park, I stopped and took pics of the neighbors' flowers. I LOVE this flower. Anyone surprised?

The first thing we did at the park was swing. I had Clayton in the Moby Wrap and was pushing both Kallie and Whitney on the swings. (Did I mention that I'm STILL recovering from a c-sec? The incision has healed, but my body is still getting up to speed.) I taught Kallie how to pump and then told her to keep it up. When she begged for more pushing, I told her to pump. She got mad, ran off, and started pouting. She has the most expressive little face!

I call this one "Whitney on the Slide"--for obvious reasons. Whitney LOVES to slide. Don't most kids?

The next few are me trying to be artistic. I love this bridge one because the girls look like they're making supermodel faces/poses.

This is their reflection in one of those plastic mirrors. I'm surprised the mirror is still intact. Most that I've seen look like they've been scratched to death by a wild animal.

The girls decided to play hide and seek. As you can see, Whitney is hiding and Kallie is seeking.

And, just to prove I was there... (This is the other side of the earlier mirror...and again, not one scratch!)

As we were getting ready to leave, we saw these blackberry bushes.

Kallie decided to try a few. She said they were really good!

My Thoughts on 9/11

Eight years ago today, I was stunned--like the rest of America. The news of the attacks hit me pretty hard, as I was leaving for my mission 2 month later. My thoughts of security were smashed to pieces and it took me a few weeks to regroup. But, honestly, leaving this country so soon after 9/11 was a great benefit for me because I learned why America is so wonderful and worth preserving.

When I left for the Baltic States, I didn't realize how fortunate Americans are. We can enter most countries in the world with nothing more than a passport. Other nationalities have to obtain residence visas before they can even put one finger over the border. As an American, I was allowed to stay and travel freely for 90 days before a residence visa was required.

Living in a post-communist country, I have seen first-hand the effects of a people that turn their ability to choose over to the government. You eventually lose your individual ability to make a choice. Any choice. People I spoke with on a daily basis described to me how their jobs were selected for them, how their class was determined for them (no chance to improve), and how they were required to purchase even household items according to their class. I was never so grateful for the chance we have in America to both succeed AND to fail--according to our choices. Many of the older generation I spoke with who had lived the majority of their lives under such restriction really didn't know how to make choices.

I am grateful to live in a country where I can practice the religion of my choosing. And, that there are no government-mandated punishments for doing so. As a missionary, religion was my topic of choice. I spoke with many people who, in public places, would not discuss religion above the tone of a whisper. Again--carry over from a time when religious choice was disallowed. But, here, if I so choose, I can shout my belief in Jesus Christ, in the Book of Mormon, and in a living prophet. What a blessing.

I am also grateful to live in a country where I make decisions about my family size. I think about restrictions on families in other countries--my first 2 children are darling girls. I would not give either of them up for the WORLD and I'm glad that my government doesn't tell me that I should. Having just welcomed our third child into our family, I'm grateful that I have the ability to choose whether we'll have 1, 5, or 20 kids.

There are so many blessings we have living in America. Even our poorest areas are blessed beyond the poorest in other countries. We truly don't realize how fortunate we are. To anyone who would like to disagree with these thoughts, I appreciate that you have the choice and the freedom to do so. I hope you also appreciate that freedom.

Kallie-isms

The other day, Kallie and Whitney were sitting at the table eating breakfast. Ryan and I were teasing the girls that Whitney was going to drive the car later that day. Kallie counter-argued, "But she doesn't have a silent!" I inquired, "A what?" Kallie repeated, "A silent. You know, a driving silent."

This morning, Kallie and Whitney were fighting over playing with a little kids' cookbook that Kallie has. I reminded them to share and saw Kallie open the book. As I left the room, I heard Kallie say, "And it came to pass..." Guess she really does pay attention!

Three is not a crowd

This morning, as I finished feeding Clayton, my girls came into our bedroom. As is now the case, as soon as they walked in, they immediately asked, "Where's Clayton?" They have tabs on him at all times during their waking hours. When they saw that I was feeding him, they gathered around and touched, talked to, and gazed at him--all while he was blissfully having breakfast. When he was finished, I cuddled him onto my chest to burp him. When Whitney realized what was going on, she joined right in, patting along with me. Kallie, too, noticed the joint patting effort and came over to participate as well. It was a sweet picture to look at that tiny little boy with three sizes of hands patting his little back. He doesn't know yet how lucky he is to already have the adoration of three girls!

The Birth Story

So, I thought I'd post my version of Monday evenings events here--both for my own journaling and for those who are curious.

We arrived at the hospital at about 5:20 p.m. I was concerned that I wouldn't be on "The List" since no one from the hospital had called by the time we left the house. I worried, (as I usually do), in vain. They knew we were coming and we were called back about 10 minutes later. We were taken into a room with 4 curtained areas. I think it's a place they usually used for pre-term labor monitoring, but since the unit was incredibly busy that night, that's where we started out. After changing into my gown, my nurse started poking me for an I.V. She usually gets it in on the first try. It took 3 tries this time around. I was grateful that she was able to take the 5 vials of blood needed through the I.V. port instead of a separate poke each time. By this time, we were approaching 7 p.m.--and my scheduled time was 7:30 p.m. I didn't have much time to dwell on this, though, as they announced that we were ahead of schedule and would be heading down to the O.R. within a few minutes.

As we walked through the hall, my mind was racing. It's been a while since my last c-sec and I remember all of the issues from the past 2. It was more than enough time to work up some nervousness. As soon as we got in the room, the anesthesiologist administered my spinal. After the initial "pinch" of the topical anesthetic, I had to ask if it was done. Yep--all done even before I knew it had started. I layed down on the table and focused on relaxing as much as possible while they prepped me for surgery. With my previous c-sec's, I felt like the spinal numbed me up to my collar bone. It made it hard to breathe and I think contributed to my nausea. But this time around, it didn't spread higher than about the bottom of my ribcage. I was numb higher than that, just not dead-numb. I could feel a lot more of the pushing/pulling, but absolutely no pain--AND, I never felt short of breath. That, alone, was a miracle to me.

Within a few minutes, they pulled Clayton out. He came out just as I predicted: kicking, screaming, and peeing. My Dr. commented that with the amount of fluid Clayton had off-loaded, he had probably lost a few ounces. After determining his APGAR scores, (9 & 9), suctioning a bit, and wiping him off, they wrapped him up and handed him to Ryan. As I looked at that tiny little face, I could definitely see familiar features. He looked like Whitney, but had definite Kallie features as well. It's fun to see that our children have a look that connects them all.

About this time, my nausea kicked in. I was amazed that it held off for that long in the first place! As soon as I mentioned the impending off-loading, the anesthesiologist added Zofran to my IV and slapped a motion sickness patch behind my ear. I did throw up a couple of times before the meds kicked in, but miraculously, that was it. I was seriously amazed by this--because with my 2 previous c-sections, it has taken several hours for the nausea to abate.

When I was all closed up, they took me into a recovery room and Ryan went with Clayton to the NICU. Clayton was doing REALLY well, but since he was born prior to the 37 week mark, he had a mandatory 6-hour stay in the NICU for monitoring. After my 2-hour post-op monitoring, I was wheeled on my stretcher into the NICU to see and hold my baby. The pic in the post below is the first time I held him. Let me tell you--it was about 10 p.m., I had barf in my hair, and was getting over the post-op shakes. I didn't feel attractive for the pic--but I was thrilled to hold my little one!

After a few minutes with my son, I was taken to my room and tried to get some sleep. Yeah, right. Does anyone get sleep in the hospital? They brought Clayton in to my room around 2 a.m. and he stayed there the rest of the time I was in the hospital. About that same time, I started getting up and walking around.

I have to say, it's been interesting having a "pre-term" baby. Clayton and Kallie were born 5 days apart, gestationally, and he was bigger than she was at birth. However, Clayton had to have a "car seat check" to make sure he would be able to breathe well in his car seat. Kallie never had to have one. Apparently, those 5 days make a difference in a baby's ability to breathe in a typical car seat. Clayton didn't pass his test--his oxygen saturation was consistently too low. So, we had to rent a special "car bed," which is a little boat-shaped bed that straps into the seat belt. There was a possibility that he wasn't going to pass his car bed test, which would have meant we would have to leave him at the hospital. I'm SO glad that didn't happen!

Now we've been home for almost a week. Clayton is growing before our eyes. He is a very good eater and rarely cries. Sometimes, it's hard for me to believe he's actually here--but I am really enjoying him! He is a sweet, cute little bean and we're so happy to have him in our family.

Baby Clayton is here

Clayton Thomas Segeberg arrived on a rainy summer evening at 7:40 pm. He was 7 lbs 8 oz, and 20 3/4 inches long. Both Mom and baby are doing great.

How about...now?

Well, my final appointment was this morning. After a great NST, my nurse came in to see how I was and inform me that my bile acids had indeed gone up again. (This time from 10 to 14.) She left and while she was gone, I was absorbing the idea that our little boy would be arriving tomorrow morning. When the Dr. came in, he said that with my levels going up so quickly, especially since I'm already on medication, (which is supposed to decrease the numbers), the indication was immediate delivery, and how did tonight sound? TONIGHT? Yes, tonight. By the time I go to bed tonight, our son will be here. My Dr. advised me to go get something to eat ASAP and then to not eat until the delivery tonight, which will be around 7:30 p.m. I wanted to laugh, cry, and breathe a HUGE sigh of relief all at the same time. I laughed a little, breathed a little, and the tears came later. For now, I'm just pretending that I'm in labor--minus timing contractions.

Waiting

Final blood draw was today. They only had to poke me twice! Now we're just waiting for the results. Also had my final ultrasound today. I am 36 weeks, 1 day today and the Dr. estimated that the baby is 8 lbs. He'll certainly be MUCH bigger than my other two were! He has chubby little cheeks and a fuzzy little head. I can't wait to see him in person! Now, I just have to get through the weekend before I know if it will be Tuesday or Friday...

FINALLY!!!

I had yet another appointment today. Story of my life right now. It was just an NST, which really is quite relaxing, (well, unless the baby's not cooperative). Last Friday, at my last appointment, my Dr. said that I wouldn't need to do any more blood work and we'd be on track for August 14, unless my bile acids went up to around, say, 10 or so. They've been sticking around 4-5, so I was celebrating the end of the blood work.

At my appointment today, the Dr. told me that last Friday's blood work showed that my bile acids are up to 10. Should I be surprised? Knowing that it can take a few weeks for the bloodwork to reflect the symptoms, I'm not surprised at all. It's been about 3 weeks since my itching exploded. Thankfully, I've been on medication since my symptoms intensified. (And, all I have to say here is I KNEW IT!!! I knew this itching meant something!)

Anyway--what this now means is that I have one more round of blood work to attend to on Friday. If the numbers go up again, they will move my c-sec up to about Tuesday or so. If nothing changes, we'll stick to the original plan. I have to admit, as grateful as I am about this, (I'm feeling SO huge), I'm a little stressed, as I still need to get everything set up and put away in preparation for his arrival. Guess I'd better get busy, huh?

The Ha-Ha-Ha

A couple of months ago, my girls were playing nicely together and I was getting things done. All was right with the world. When they finished, Kallie found me and gave me a minute-by-minute report of their imaginary adventures. She explained that Whitney was pretending to be the "Ha-Ha-Ha." I couldn't figure out what in the world she was talking about, but smiled and nodded because, hey, they had fun and I got things accomplished.

Just this past week, I FINALLY figured out what the Ha-Ha-Ha actually is. I figured it was some sort of bad guy, but I couldn't figure out for the life of me why they decided to call it the Ha-ha-ha. I found out quite by accident while shopping at Costco. Whitney started playing with her hands/fingers as she usually does. If she has 2 of anything, those 2 things will have conversations and interactions with each other. It's great because she can entertain herself anywhere. At one point, I heard one of her hands say something along the lines of, "I'm going to get you! Ha, ha, ha!" (in a bad-guy-style, slower, deep, menacing tone). The other hand replied, "No, not the Ha-ha-ha!" Thus, the bad guy is named the Ha-ha-ha. I finally understand! And, I have to say, it definitely makes sense now.

Things Learned During a Heat Wave

1. I will NEVER tire of complaining about how hot it is. Especially considering that I currently have a bun in the oven. This means my personal oven is always on, making it about 20 degrees hotter for me than usual.

2. I am grateful to have a window unit air conditioner. When we were moving, in the middle of a snowstorm in December, Ryan and I were debating whether to bring along our air conditioner or not. The weather up here is supposed to be temperate year round--and we didn't know I'd be 8 months pregnant in August. We actually brought it by default, because neither of us had time or desire to post it on Craigslist at that point. Boy, am I grateful we did! Temperatures 20-30 degrees above normal have necessitated that at least ONE room in the house be liveable.

3. There isn't much to do in the living room. This is where our A/C unit is--it's the only place in the house built to hold a window unit A/C. There is a couch, a piano, and 2 not-in-use kitchen chairs. The TV in the family room is visible, but not audible from the couch in the living room. I took my card making supplies down a few days ago, but that gets REALLY repetetive and boring after a while. I need to find a few good books and/or other living room compatible projects to get through this heat wave--but I'm still trying to think of a few.

4. Speaking of thinking, my brain doesn't work well when it's hot. It's like a computer whose fan doesn't work--I overheat and end up getting nothing done.

5. Heat really does rise. The downstairs is generally cool, thanks to the A/C and strategically placed fans. When you walk upstairs, past the ceiling line of the bottom floor, the humid heat hits you like a wall. Thus, we really don't come upstairs until bedtime, because that's when it's bearable again. Still warm, but bearable at that point.

6. My kids nap quite well on the family room floor. Their room is arguably the hottest room in the house--and I absolutely cannot have them sleep in there in the heat of the day. I hesistate to put them in there for bedtime. If it weren't for a fan in their window and smaller fans blowing straight on them, they'd be sleeping downstairs.

7. The heat brings out the grumpies--in everyone. My kids are grouchier, I'm grouchier. The only person who really isn't grouchier is Ryan. It's a good thing at least one of us isn't grumpy on a regular basis. He stabilizes the rest of us.

8. Two fans are enough while I'm sleeping. After a restless, sticky night, (inspite of the fan blowing cooler air in from the window), I was seriously considering sleeping downstairs. Ryan suggested that we add another fan blowing directly on me--and it worked. I finally slept well and mostly through the night. The funny part is the night I was really warm, I had a dream that I walked into the hospital and said, "Please, just give me my c-section right now. I'm done. It's too hot and I'm too uncomfortable." And you know what? They believed me and started getting things ready for the delivery. Man, sometimes I wish real life were more like our dreams. (And, mostly, I'm glad that it's not.)

9. There is NOWHERE to go for complete relief. Yesterday morning, I had an ultrasound appointment and was looking forward to getting out of the house and the heat for a while. When I arrived, it was apparent there was no power. I sat in the Dr's office for about 30 minutes, sweating and fanning with a magazine, and then they told me I should probably go home. (I still had to pay the $4 parking fee--nevermind that I didn't have my appointment AND that the power was out in the garage, too.)

Well, there's the list. As I type, I'm starting to sweat so much I feel like I've been running in 90 degree heat for an hour. It's time to take a cool shower and head downstairs for the day. At least the temps are supposed to break in about 5 or so days...I'm counting down.

Beer n' Pie Tins

I think that all of the regular readers of my blog know that Ryan and I don't drink. We have never consumed even one drop of any kind of liquor--and neither of us intend to start doing so any time soon. So, when I asked Ryan to pick up the cheapest beer at the grocery store on Saturday, you can imagine his reaction.

Let me give a little background: a few weeks ago, I noticed that something was chomping holes through the big, beautiful leaves in our garden. I don't have time for a 24-hour garden surveillance--and in the times I'd been out weeding or watching the kids, I hadn't seen anything that could make the culprit list. I did notice, however, that the leaves closer to the dirt were those with the most missing. It made sense that the attack was not aerial, but rather executed from the ground. The only thing that came to mind were slugs. Ooey, gooey, sticky, slimy little slugs. Gross.

At this point, I was determined to rid our garden of the gloppy little creatures. Not wanting to go immediately for a chemical pesticide, I thought about my options. My sister-in-law told me that her dad used to send the kids out with sticks after it rained. They were to spear as many slugs as possible. Well, my kids and sticks don't mix well right now. Plus, I don't know if I could convince them to spear a slug. Then, I remembered something I had been told when we first planted our garden: slugs love beer. Why not give it a try?

So, Ryan brought a six-pack of Coors Light out of the grocery store, (inspite of his youthful looks, he didn't get carded), as well as a six-pack of pot pie sized aluminum pie tins. When the girls saw the silver cans, they asked what kind of soda it was. Our response? It's not soda--it's pesticide. That's the only reason those cans were in our possession--so we felt that was an honest answer for our kids.

That night, after the girls were asleep, we snuck out to the garden to lay our traps. We dug small holes, put the pie tins in, and then filled our four traps with 2 cans of beer. (The other 4 cans now reside on the top shelf in the shed--right next to the Miracle-Gro.) Yesterday, Ryan came in from the backyard with a report of "mass carnage." Turns out slugs really do like beer. We caught 25-30 slugs in our intoxicating mini-pools. We decided to leave them for one more night just in case a few more slugs would like to take a sip. I haven't gone out to check them yet today--I hope they're full of slugs for Ryan to throw away after work!

In the end, I'd say our experiment was a success. And, hopefully, the little boogers don't come back.

Baby Update

I haven't mentioned anything about my health or the baby's health in a while, so I thought I'd do a quick post for inquiring minds. As far as cholestasis goes, I do not have it yet. At least that's the official stance right now. I'm puzzled about this, however, as I have had evenings where I'd like to cut my feet and lower legs off because they itch so bad. These evenings are coming more frequently--and I'm starting to get minor itching during the day sometimes. But, the blood work keeps coming back with insanely low numbers. I have to admit that I'm a little nervous that the symptoms and results aren't matching up. The good news is that my Dr. is still monitoring me very closely, with twice a week NST's and ultrasounds. This certainly helps alleviate some of my nervousness. And, I'm still delivering 4 weeks from tomorrow.

As far as the baby goes, he's looking perfectly healthy. In fact, he's so healthy that his estimated size (currently) is above the 97th percentile. Last week's ultrasound and this week's ultrasound both estimate that he will be about 8 lbs. (give or take 1/2 lb.) when he is born at 37 weeks. I have DEFINITELY felt that he is bigger than either of his sisters were by this point. I also got to see his sweet little (big?) face today--and the Dr. said he has a head full of hair! It's fun to have a peek inside during these last few weeks. But, I have to say, these peeks are making me a little more impatient! I can't wait to meet this little one and cuddle him in my arms! Not too much longer...

Giving it a Tri

This past weekend, Ryan and I took the girls out to Ocean Shores so Ryan and his brother could participate in a triathlon, (Olympic length). I love the excitement before a race. Neither Ryan nor I sleep very well the night before--because he has to get up early and I always feel like I should be the back up alarm should the battery powered one fail. But, he usually gets up right on time, (thanks to the batteries in the real alarm clock), and I stir enough to kiss him goodbye and tell him to have fun before he heads out the door. It all happened the same way this time--except a few minutes later, our girls woke up. So, the boys loaded the bikes into the car, instead of biking the short-ish distance to the starting line like they had planned, and I loaded the kids and we drove them to the park.

When the girls and I returned about 2 hours later, the boys had finished the swimming leg of the race and were over half way done with the biking leg. My inlaws came out for the day to watch Ryan and Heath--when they returned from the bike route turn around, they told me about the parts of the race I had missed out on. After the girls had played on the playground for a while, we took them to the sidelines--completely UNcrowded sidelines--and watched so we could cheer for the boys when they approached the bike/run transition area. I enjoyed being there to offer whatever support I could, even if it was just yelling, "YAY!!! Good job!!!"

The girls were actually glad when daddy and Uncle Heath were out of sight again because they got to get back to the business of playing on the playground. Whitney learned to scale the 6 foot high climbing wall by herself while they were gone. (I stood behind her, without touching, just in case. After a while, I gave up.) The boys made it back to the finish line with a time of 3:28--and crossed at basically the same time. What an accomplishment! I love being there when Ryan finishes a race. After so many races, I know the questions to ask, (Do you need ibuprofen? Do you need chocolate milk? etc.), and it makes me feel like I can somehow share in the post-race fun. When I asked Ryan his thoughts on a triathlon versus a marathon, he said it was a completely different beast. With a marathon, you just keep doing the same thing over and over and over. With a tri, you get to change up the muscles you're using, so it affects your stamina and body differently.

I have to say, this race was certainly the least crowded event I've ever been to. Usually, the sidelines are packed with observers--but since the race was so small, (less than 50 people), I guess there weren't as many adoring fans hanging out. It probably didn't help that the weather was cool and overcast that day, although that was a bonus for the race participants. Overall, Ryan had a good time and is even considering participating in a sprint-length tri in August.

Tradition, Tradition!

Sunday night, as Ryan and I climbed into bed at midnight--after traveling for several hours with 2 cranky kids--I asked Ryan the same thing that I ask every single night: "Will you tickle my back?" He expects me to ask this question every night and I expect I'll ask it every night. And, so far, without fail, he tickles my back every time I ask--even if it's just for 2 or 3 minutes before I feel the faint "That's it" pats he always gives when he's done. And, I LOVE those few minutes every night. They help me feel connected to my husband and help me relax and fall asleep. This tickle time has become a tradition in our marriage.

There seems to be a lot of focus on family traditions--but sometimes marital traditions are pushed aside or deemed less important in order to accomodate the family traditions. While family traditions are important, it's equally important to create marital traditions that connect you and your spouse. Let's be honest--when all is said and done, when the kids leave home it will just be you and your spouse. If you don't have your own basis of connecting and strengthening traditions, where will that leave you when the chicks have flown the nest?

Thinking about this last night got me thinking about the other traditions that Ryan and I have in our marriage--those we have created with purpose or those that have gradually evolved over the years. One of my favorite traditions is going to bed at the same time. I'm definitely NOT a night person. Ryan generally does well at night. But, we have reached a common bedtime that works for both of us. I enjoy chatting about our day as we get ready for bed together. I also love our tradition within a tradition of couple's prayer each night. Some nights, kneeling down beside our bed seems to be all it takes to get the conversation going and we end up talking until the wee hours of the morning--laughing, sharing concerns, sharing ideas, etc. This is one of my favorite times because it's just me and Ryan and no one else is around to burst in with their needs, ideas, or random thoughts.

When Ryan and I were in our student stake last year, one of the stake conference meetings for the men focused completely on strengthening your marriage. One of the speakers said that he and his wife wake up a few minutes early in the mornings to cuddle before getting out of bed. This simple act connects this couple and helps them face their day together as they go their separate ways. Ryan and I discussed this idea, but realized that this particular way wouldn't work for us. So, as part of our bedtime tradition, we cuddled together each night as we fell asleep. When I got pregnant, my nausea (and now decreased lung capacity and increased body heat) made this option less appealing. So for now, the back tickling has become our temporary tradition.

As this same conference, another speaker mentioned the 10-second kiss. He counseled the husbands that they should kiss their wife for at least 10 seconds every day. This is another tradition we have chosen to adopt in our marriage. When Ryan is rushing out the door in the morning, it always makes me feel like a high priority when he gives me 10 seconds of himself. The funny thing is that it's only 10 seconds! But, it makes a huge difference in our connection throughout the day.

Another tradition Ryan and I have chosen to bring into our marriage is that of regular temple attendance. We both feel that it is important for us to serve in this capacity and the fact that we have to plan together to make it each month brings us closer together. There are seasons of life when this doesn't quite happen as we'd like, (like in the nauseating first and early second trimesters of pregnancy), but we do our best to continue this tradition from month to month.

There are other traditions which we try to keep, but sometimes don't--or can't--put as much focus on. These include regular dates, (even if it's hanging out on the couch on a Friday evening after the kids are in bed), Ryan bringing home flowers, going for walks just the two of us, etc. They are all things that I feel bring us closer together and show that we truly enjoy being around one another.

At the end of this all, I know there are many other traditions that are cultivated in marriages. And, I'm curious. What are traditions that you and your spouse enjoy? What are those things, no matter how small, that help you connect with your spouse? Please leave me a comment and share your thoughts with me on this!

Livin' the Dream

Today, as I was out running errands with my kids, we were singing together in the car--and all of a sudden, it struck me how much I love my life. From the earliest that I can remember, I have wanted to be a mommy. Even in college, when I wasn't married, wasn't even really dating, I knew that I just wanted to be a mom. That has always been my focus. I didn't know that along the way, I'd be blessed with other opportunities or that I'd have to wait longer than I thought I should have to for motherhood to come my way. But, I wish during all those frustrating times when I wondered when or IF it would ever happen, I could have had glimpses at my life now. (Preferably of the times when my kids are getting along and happy--which is most of the time.) I know that all I experienced leading up to this point has made me a better mom and, really, a better person in general. Those seemingly long years of waiting and wanting were filled with enriching opportunities that offer me perspective and appreciation for what I now have. I am just happy with my life--and I couldn't imagine a better sequence of events to bring me to where I am now.

Along these same lines, I've had a couple of experiences lately when I was out and about that have made me smile. Yesterday, at Costco, I was in line behind a woman with 4 kids. A tall lady in line for the next register over struck up a conversation with 4-Kid-Mom. I overheard Tall Lady tell 4-Kid-Mom how once her kids were out of school, she couldn't wait until summer camp week arrived. And, I overheard 4-Kid-Mom explain how much she loves having her kids at home and looks forward to having them around all summer. This sentiment is not often expressed these days, so I was thrilled to hear this woman defend motherhood in such a way.

Then, today, when I was at Target, I was walking through the baby aisles when I met a couple with a brand new tiny baby. (20 days old!) They were trying on infant carriers and I offered my opinion, which I'm quite prone to doing. Come to find out during the course of our conversation, this couple recently adopted their newborn, but already have 2 kids, ages 19 and 23. They also told me that they're already talking about adopting another child. It struck me that these people must love being parents. There aren't many people who are willing to take on more kids once they're "done" with the child-raising part of parenting. What a tribute to parenthood!

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary

A couple of months ago, we planted our garden. I've been meaning to post pics for a while, but haven't gotten around to actually taking any. Fortunately for me, Kallie spent her birthday money on a kid's camera--and she LOVES taking pics. So, here are a few pics she took of our garden (without any prompting on my part):

Lettuce, onions, carrots, Brussels sprouts, and peas

Zucchini (Pay no attention to the weeds...)

Tomatoes and bell pepper (Kallie doesn't have the steadiest hand...)

So--there it is. We've eaten some of the lettuce, but nothing else so far. I'm afraid some of my peas are dying, which is sad, but oh well. And, we got our tomatoes and zucchini in a little late, so I'm hoping we'll actually have a harvest from them this year. Guess we'll see what this great experiment ends up yielding for us!

If we ever wondered...

If we were ever in doubt as to whether Whitney is 110% girl, her antics yesterday removed all doubt. As a little background, Sunday, we were assigned to bring brownies to our family gathering. I wanted to try a couple of things, so I made S'mores brownies and some brownie cups with Oreos on top. When the time came to pack up the brownies, I couldn't budge the brownie cups from the mini-muffin tin. After prying one out with a butter knife, I determined I had overcooked them and they were all good and stuck. (The S'mores brownies, however, turned out AMAZING. I'll make those again!)

Fast forward to Monday: I was finally getting around to the mini muffin tin, still laden with baked in brownies. I decided the best course of action was to spray them with water until they were soft enough to remove. After I got all 23 out of the pan, I tossed the soggy chocolate mess in the garbage can. (They were so overcooked that they were still holding their form when soaking wet!)

A while later, I asked Whitney to throw something away. She returned and with much concern said, "There's chocolate in the trash!" She was devestated and close to tears upon discovering what she thought was perfectly good chocolate in the garbage can. Once I assured her that the chocolate was yucky and supposed to be in the trash, she calmed down a little. But, seriously, leave it up to a true girl to get emotional about garbage-bound chocolate!

Lab Results

I went in for my first non-stress test (NST) today and they told me that my bile salts are at normal levels and haven't changed since my last blood test in January. YAY! This means that, as of right now, I don't have cholestasis yet. I have never made it this far into a pregnancy without getting it. I'm not sure if it's because this is a boy...or if it's because my body is in better condition this time around...or if it's because I'm taking an herbal liver function supplement...but regardless of the why, I'm just happy to have made it this far without being toxic to my baby.

As for the NST--for those who don't know what that is, I'm strapped to a baby heartrate monitor and a contraction monitor for at least 20 minutes. The goal is to see the baby's heartrate accelerate a certain number of times within that 20 minute time period. Every time this little boy's heartbeat would accelerate, he would start moving, kicking, and rolling. It was hilarious! But, as expected, everything looked great and he's very healthy. Great news all the way around.

Oh--and I'm sure someone will wonder about this--I asked my Dr. if we would still deliver at 37 weeks even if I am never diagnosed with cholestasis. He said we would. I presume this is because the chances of cholestasis increase the further along I am in pregnancy. I think he'd rather have it scheduled ahead of time, instead of having to make a swift change of plans later on. I'm incredibly grateful for this for 2 reasons: 1) I know he's the Dr. who will do my c-sec, and 2) I don't know if I could make it to 40 weeks after delivering at 37 with both of my girls. I know--selfish--but I'm OK with this!

Pregnancy Update

I had an eventful appointment last week and thought I would share a few details with everyone. A week and a half ago, I had my glucose test--while they were drawing blood for that, they also took a few extra vials to test my bile salts and liver function. For those who are not aware, with both of my past pregnancies, I have been diagnosed with cholestasis of pregnancy at around 28 weeks. Cholestasis of pregnancy happens because the high amounts of estrogen in my body cause my liver ducts to swell. Because of the swelling, normal bile secretion is not possible, and the bile backs up into my bloodstream, which causes severe itching. Cholestasis can cause the baby to be stillborn in the last month of pregnancy.

At my appointment last week, I was told that I had passed my glucose test, but the liver-related blood work results weren't in yet. However, my Dr. decided to go ahead and move forward cautiously--which I am very grateful for. For the next 2 weeks, I have non-stress tests once a week. After that, I will go in twice a week--once for a non-stress test, once for an ultrasound--until August 14, which is when my c-section is scheduled. I will also have weekly blood work to keep track of the bile salts in my blood stream.

The good news is that, while I have certainly been itchy over the last few weeks, it seems less intense and less frequent than in the past. I don't know if I'm used to it now or if my levels just aren't as high as the last couple of times, but only time will tell. I'm just really grateful for a Dr. who is keeping on top of this--being proactive about it all, instead of reactive.

Baby and The Beast

One of my favorite things about being pregnant is laying in bed in the morning, cuddled up next to my giant, furry body pillow (aptly named "The Beast") and feeling the baby kick and squirm. First of all, it brings me comfort because I know he's still alive in there. Secondly, feeling the baby move is my absolute favorite part of being pregnant. There's something so bonding about being the only one who knows what your baby is doing at any given time--just you and your baby are sharing it together.

Earlier today, I was sitting in the office while Ryan was reinstalling everything on my computer. (My computer got sick yesterday...) As things were downloading, he started poking my belly--playing with the baby in a way. When he had finished poking it all over, the baby all of a sudden started poking back with the same frequency and intensity which his dad had used. I wanted to keep watching my belly undulate, but I couldn't help laughing at the tiny antics.

Even as I write this post, this little one is karate chopping my insides. And, I love it. None of my kids have kicked with this same strength and instensity. While the bladder kicks are my least favorite, I just love feeling every little move he makes. I know I'll miss it when he arrives in a little less than 8 weeks.

My (Not Very) Guilty Pleasure

About 2 years ago, when I found out I was allergic to prolactin, my nutritionist told me that I would have to avoid milk until the allergy was resolved. I tried my best--substituting rice milk and avoiding ice cream and cheese. I occasionally indulged in dairy goodness, but knowing what it was doing to my body made it easier to avoid. As things started to improve, my nutritionist reminded me that when I got pregnant, I would have to completely avoid all dairy products in order to completely avoid excess prolactin. Well, here I am, two years later, very pregnant. In the middle of the summer--smack dab in the middle of ice cream season. This pregnancy has come with all sorts of cravings, including cold cereal and pizza. Anyone else notice you can't have those 2 things without dairy? Right. I have indulged far too often and certainly felt the effects.

Finally, last week, I was dying for ice cream. I walked up and down the freezer section trying to find a reasonable non-dairy substitute for cold, creamy heaven. The fruit bars caught my eye...but didn't sound too appetizing. I found some "Rice Dream" ice cream, but I know how rice milk tastes and knew it wasn't going to hit the spot. Finally, I found the sorbet section. I was afraid it would end up tasting like a glorified popsicle, icy and watery, without much cream to it. But, having never tasted sorbet, I figured it was worth a go. I scanned the ingredients--no dairy--and put some Haagen-Daaz Orchard Peach sorbet into the cart.

As soon as I got home, I pulled it out for a sample. Where has this been all my life? It was heavenly! Seriously, who needs ice cream when you can have sorbet? It took me an entire week to eat my little half-pint and I plan to get another today. And, because it's lower in calories than ice cream and non-dairy, I don't feel one bit guilty!

Mom, I have something to tell you...

Kallie, who is supposed to be in bed, but had been in the bathroom for a few minutes, just came in to the office. She had a very concerned look on her face. She said, "Mom, I have something to tell you." I figured she had an accident or remembered something from earlier in the day that couldn't wait until morning. Instead, she pointed to the side of her nose and said, "I have a sticker right there and I can't get it out," and then the tears of panic started forming in her eyes. Knowing that sniffles would probably only suck the sticker in deeper, I quietly urged her to please calm down and asked how the sticker got into her nose. She admitted that she put it there herself and planned to blow it out. Pointing to her nose again, she repeated, "It's right there and I can't get it out!" In my mind, I saw the sticker closer to the bridge of her nose than the nostril and thought that I might just have to retrieve the tweezers. When she tipped her head back, I was surprised to see the sticker at the very front of her little nose. I reached in with my fingernail and slid it right out. No tweezers, no kleenex, and no requests to "Blow!" It was so much simpler than she thought. She gingerly grabbed the tiny, (now damp), sticker and walked out of the office--commenting to herself how gross it was. Gross enough that I hope she remembers next time she wants to shove something up her nose.

As she left, a thought occurred to me: How often do I get myself in a sticky situation (no pun intended) and I think I can take care of it on my own? Like Kallie, I try to remedy the situation without help--to no avail. In the process, I start feeling panic and realize that I can't handle it alone. When I finally ask for help, the solution is generally accomplished through small and simple means. If only I would get over my fears and ask for help sooner, I could save myself loads of grief and stress. Hopefully, I'll also remember this little lesson next time something sticky happens in my own life.

Whitney's Favorite Primary Song

I have several different posts floating around, but not much time to pin them down. So, today, I'll do the shortest one...

Every time we ask Whitney what song she'd like to sing for Family Home Evening, she requests, "I Love to See the Temple." (I think this was also one of Kallie's favorites at this same age.) I'm not sure whether she particularly loves it, or she just knows it really well--but we sing it pretty much every other week. It's also a frequent occurrence that she randomly sings this song while playing. The other day, while we were cleaning the girls' bedroom, Whitney started singing, so I joined in with her. When we got to the last line, "it is my sacred duty," I thought Whitney sang something else. I asked her to sing the song again and listened a little closer. Sure enough, she wasn't singing the correct words. She doesn't make the same mistake most kids make with this particular song and sing "secret duty" instead. No, Whitney made up words all her own..."it is my shake-a-booty." Yep--never thought you'd hear the word "booty" in a song about the temple, huh? For now, I request that song from her quite often and I don't bother correcting her own little version!

The Beginning

Six years ago, I returned home from my mission to the Baltic States. (Has it really been that long?) Since I had graduated from college before I left on my mission and my parents moved while I was gone, I came home to a whole lot of...nothing. No job, no friends, and no plans--except to get a job and find some friends. The benefit to coming home to nothing is that the world is, at that moment, full of hope and possibilities.

Being used to mission life, I dug in and got going. I started attending the singles' ward in my new stake and began to make many friends. In fact, Elizabeth, (my former mission companion), and I started attending every possible ward activity. As is typical with most wards, there was a core group of kids that also attended every possible activity--and we started getting to know them all better. Within 3 months after returning home, I started dating someone. The relationship had a LOT of ups and downs and it felt like life just shouldn't be that complicated. Between this relationship and my job hunt, the ups and downs were becoming quite exhausting. And then November rolled around.

To celebrate the two year anniversary of the beginning of my mission, the guy I had been dating broke up with me. One week later, one of the guys from that core group of kids called to see if I wanted to get a group together to go shooting, like we had recently talked about doing at one of the many ward activities. This particular young man was one who had caught my interest a few times over the previous weeks, so I was more than happy to go. It was my job to get a group together. But, knowing that I wanted to get to know this young man better, I called one person, (whom I knew couldn't go), invited my younger brother, and decided that was enough. When we went on the shooting excursion a few days later, I made sure that this young man knew I was currently available.

A few days later, the core group got together to head to the desert and watch a meteor shower in the middle of the night. It turned out that this young man and I were both underprepared for the cold temperatures--but somehow ended up on a big, thick foam pad under a nice warm blanket. As we watched for shooting stars, we talked. And talked. And talked. I had such a great time talking to him that night. I hoped he did too.

It soon became obvious that he also enjoyed talking with me, as he called me up the very next day to ask me out for that weekend. As luck would have it, I woke up the day before our date deathly ill. I spent the entire day in bed, resting up, and hoping it was a 24-hour bug. By that evening, I wasn't feeling much better. Out of all of the dates I'd been on in my life, this was one that I wanted to go on more than almost anything in the world. I HAD to be well enough to go the next night. So, I asked my dad for a blessing. (Little did I know at the time that this young man was also deathly ill and also requested a blessing in order to go on the date.) By Friday night, armed with our determination and DayQuil, this young man and I went on our first date.

Two weeks later, we were officially a couple. A few days later, chatting by the glow of Christmas tree lights, we talked about our future together. I was scared to death to admit that this was it, although I knew in my heart that my single life was quickly drawing to a close. I remember telling this young man that I knew we had a future together, I just wasn't sure what that meant. When he went home to Seattle for Christmas break, we talked daily. I had never wanted to be with someone so much in my life. One night, we talked until the wee hours of the morning. That night, he told me he was never going home again without me. That was also the night we decided what our future together meant to both of us: marriage. I remember the "Oh my goodness--this is IT" feeling I had when I told my mom the next day that I was getting married.

The day after he came back from Seattle, we went ring shopping. Three weeks later, he proposed to me in the Salt Lake temple. Four months after that, and six months and one day after our first date, we were married in the Mt. Timpanogos temple. That was 5 years ago.

When I married Ryan, I knew I was getting a good guy. After all, up to that point, without any prompting, hinting, or requesting from me, he had done all of the things that I had always wanted a boy to do for me. But, the past five years have shown me how incredibly lucky I am. He does everything in his power to make sure that I am happy and well cared for. On top of all of that, he is truly my best friend. I honestly don't know how I got a guy who is so perfect for me! I look forward to the rest of forever with him! Happy Anniversary, Ryan!

DONE!!! DONE!!! DONE!!!

Do you think I could be any more excited? Today, Ryan defended his thesis, got the paperwork signed, is in the process of binding his thesis--and HE'S DONE WITH SCHOOL! DONE! I can't say it has been particularly difficult, because he takes such great care of our family. But, I can say it's been a while. When we got married, we weren't planning on this road--but I am absolutely thrilled that this is the road we've taken. Ryan has been able to accomplish so much and has learned so much in the process. I'm just so glad it's over now! On to "normal" life...whatever that is.

The Value of Reading and Listening

Several weeks ago, when I was first coming out of my first trimester fog, I saw everything that I had missed for the 3 previous months and started feeling very overwhelmed. My house was not organized, my kids were running wild, and my personal growth even felt like it was on hold for that period of time. It all settled back on my shoulders at once and I knew things had to change. With a new living space, a new family routine, and growing children, I was at a loss as to what I should do next. Usually in these situations, I turn to the internet--with its wealth of information--for ideas and education. This time, however, I remembered a conversation I had with my mom a while back. She explained that, as a parent, she didn't have all of the resources that I have today. There was no information conveniently at her fingertips, so she often turned to the greatest source of knowledge she knows--prayer. I decided that instead of looking first and then asking later, I would turn the situation around and ask first, then look later.

I prayed for guidance and inspiration, then read my scriptures. A flood of ideas washed over me. Do this, organize this way, try this...I made a list of several items that I needed to accomplish and how it could be done. The blessing of this method was that I immediately felt much less overwhelmed with the challenges before me. The drawback was now that I had written them all down, I wasn't as concerned as I had been before. Within a week or so, I was sick again--and none of the items on my list had been accomplished. Another week or two later, I found myself once again frustrated by the exact same issues I had prayed about and received solutions for earlier.

This time, I turned to my inspired list and determined to make progress, since my health and energy had finally returned for real. I started with the issue that was most frustrating for me at the time--which was Kallie's potty training regression. While I had received guidance on what needed to happen, (making a potty chart), I wasn't quite sure what the specifics should be. I knew she didn't need 3 m&m's with each potty success, as we had done at the very beginning, and I knew that she needed support that was more immediate--but should she get a reward daily? Weekly? etc. Armed with the knowledge of what the overall goal was, I turned to the wealth of information in cyberspace.

Within a few taps on the keyboard and a few clicks of the mouse, I discovered one parent's story that I felt would work for my child. Feeling inspired once again, I made a simple chart with four squares on each row. If Kallie kept her panties clean and pooped in the potty each day, she would get a sticker before bedtime. Once the row of four squares was filled, she would earn a reward.

I am absolutely amazed by the change this chart has brought about for me and my daughter. From the moment I showed her the chart, I have been able to completely turn her potty issues over to her, (something I have had a challenge doing). I no longer require her to use the bathroom when she needs to go, because I know that if she wants her reward, she'll go. I do remind her that she gets a sticker for staying clean and dry, but whether or not she earns her sticker is completely up to her. The first four stickers took a little over a week to earn, the second set took a day or two less, and she's already half way through her third set. (A pair of "Hello Kitty" panties are apparently a better motivator than even strawberry ice cream!) I haven't had to clean dirty panties in a couple of weeks now and we're all very pleased with how this is working for Kallie.

What's amazing to me is that in the month between receiving the inspiration and actually doing what I was inspired to do, I was still getting SO frustrated by these issues. All it took was a few minutes of my time to just do what I knew I should--and the change has been honestly miraculous. I am grateful for an eternally patient Heavenly Father who still blesses me--even though it sometimes takes a while for me to actually get it. Now, I look forward to accomplishing the other 20 things on the list because I know the change will be just as great.