Joy: Day 28

My biggest joy of the day today was surprising my children with a visit from their grandparents!  My parents flew in today to stay for a long weekend.  I took Kallie with me to the airport and she was SO surprised!  I told her I had to run an errand to pick something up.  She didn't ask where we were going--just came along.  I drove to the airport, (about 30 minutes), to the cell phone lot, (which could really be a parking lot anywhere), and waited for a few minutes.  Then we drove to the "Arrivals" deck of the terminal.  Kallie looked out the window about when we got to the terminal and said, "We're at the airport." Yeah--sometimes you have to pick something up here.  She said, "I wonder if it's from Grandma and Grandpa? Maybe there's something for me and Whitney inside!"  And just then, I pulled up to the curb--and she realized who was standing on the curb.  She said, "It IS Grandma and Grandpa!"  I was thrilled that, in spite of our best efforts to ruin the surprise, the kids never heard us slip up and the surprise was a grand one! :)

Other joys from my day:

The parent of the girl wasn't at the bus stop.  So, I talked straight to the girl.  I was as nice as possible and basically explained that I'm sure she wouldn't like being talked to like that, so please don't talk to Kallie like that.  I'm sure having an adult come and talk to you is intimidating, so I really tried to keep it light and be extra nice.  The girl wasn't thrilled about the conversation, but I hope I helped her understand that I wasn't mad--I just wanted her to know where was another way to handle it.  I guess we'll see if HER parents come talk to ME now...

This probably seems a strange joy, but all of my kids are sick.  I'm NOT happy that they're sick.  We had the whole surprise thing going on, Trunk or Treat tomorrow, inlaw's mission farewell on Sunday...it's just NOT a good weekend for sickness.  BUT--they are all sick at the same time!  Granted the girls seem to have cough/colds and Clayton has a tummy bug, so hopefully they don't cross-contaminate.  It's actually a little easier that they're all down at once, instead of dropping one by one over the next few days.  (And, Clayton seems to be doing a little better tonight.  He probably won't get to the Trunk or Treat tomorrow afternoon since he still had a fever tonight...but hopefully he won't really know the difference and will be ready for Halloween on Monday!)

Joy: Day 27

I don't even know where to start.  It's not that my day was incredibly joyful, because really, it wasn't.  I stayed up too late Wednesday night, so I nursed a headache all day, felt sick, and just wanted sleep.  My kids were decently behaved, so that was good.  And I did get a nap.

When Kallie came home from school, she told me a girl a couple of years older on the bus had told her that she hated her, she was a brat, she was stupid, and she was going to throw her out the window--all because Kallie sat down next to her, and the girl wanted a particular BOY to sit next to her.  (Really?  Especially at THAT age, NO boy is worth that kind of unkindness.)  I wondered if that was considered bullying?  I think it is.  I'm hoping to talk to this girl's parent this morning.  I have no idea what I'm going to say, I just know that it needs to be addressed.  You just DON'T talk to my child (or anyone else's for that matter) like that.

I was working on my project tonight and realized that I had missed one step.  So, I had to rip out HOURS (Days?) of work and start again.  I was trying to get it done for an event this weekend--but that's just not going to happen.  I was devastated.

I suppose the good news is that Ryan went in early to work, instead of coming home late so he could work toward a deadline.  Coming home at the usual time meant that he was able to fix dinner and wrangle children so I didn't have to.  I also got to go to bed SUPER early--meaning I took my Unisom just after 7:30 and started trying to sleep just after 8.  (Nevermind that I couldn't fall asleep because I had potential conversations with the girl's parent running through my head...)

AND--I do find joy in knowing that the secret we've been trying to keep from our kids for WEEKS will finally come out today!  I'll post about that later...

Joy: Day 26

This morning, when I should have been showering and I should have been getting things done, I crawled into bed and checked facebook. A couple of friends had posted the same video, so I decided to give it a try.  (You might want to grab some kleenex...)



The words of this song were so touching for me.  I love the imagery of having your path planned out--and then a mountain is put right in front of you.  You try to find a way around, but really, the only way is up.  But, when you get to the top, the view is more than you could have imagined.  It reminded me of some verses of scripture I read recently in Hebrews 11. 

The chapter starts out by giving many examples of biblical prophets, (Abel, Noah, Enoch, Abraham), and how they exercised their faith--how and what they accomplished because of their faith.  And then it says this:

These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.

For they that say such things declare plainly that they seek a country.

And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have had opportunity to have returned.

But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city.

Our trials are hard.  Some we experience are more challenging than others.  But, there is great joy in the knowledge that we do not struggle or hurt in vain.  We struggle because God is providing us a more expansive view--a better country--one where we can dwell with Him forever.  What a joyful thought!  Even in the midst of our trial, God is preparing a way for us to see further than we ever intended to see.  To know more, to grow more, and to become more like Him. 

So, when we feel stuck half way up that mountain and can't see the view yet, we can take comfort in the knowledge that it will come.  "...[M]en are, that they might have joy," (2 Nephi 2:25), is not just a platitude--but a reality that the Lord will bless us with.  That is His goal.  And He will help us get there.


Other joys for the day:
Having a "crafting day" with a good friend.  (I was amazed that her child actually took a nap here!)
Going to YW for the first time in a LONG time.  I love those girls!
When I forgot to pick her up, Kallie walked home from the bus herself--instead of going to a friend's house, (like last time).

Joy: Day 25

This morning, I packed all three children in the car and drove for about 25 minutes to get my blood drawn.  In spite of the fact that I had all three with me today, (K is sick, W doesn't have school, and I usually have C anyway), it was important that I get it done about a week before my next Dr. appt.  Two painful sticks in my hand, (apparently my arm veins were too deep--although they haven't ever been before...), and a bandage wrapped around my brusing hand later, we were headed back down to the car, where I scarfed down a breakfast sandwich I made earlier in the morning.  Fasting on a pregnant tummy is not fun, but this particular blood test requires that I not eat for several hours before-hand.

I realize this is not the norm for most pregnant ladies.  But, this is the norm for my pregnancies.  At least in WA.  (My UT Dr handled it a little differently.)  You see, with all of my children, around 26 weeks, I have developed a condition called "Cholestasis of Pregnancy."  In normal terms, this means that my pregnancy-induced high hormone levels cause the ducts of my liver/gall bladder to swell.  Bile can't get through, so it ends up getting dumped into my blood stream.  Lovely image, isn't it? 

The main symptom of this condition is severe itching in the palms of the hands and the soles of the feet.  (I also feel occasional itching in my elbow pits, lower arms, and lower legs.)  Notice that I say IN, and not ON.  It is definitely not something that is only skin deep because it's my blood that's itching, not my skin.  Sometimes, I feel like I want to rip off my skin and scratch my bones.  And sometimes, it drives me to tears because the itching is so constant.  That's how I was diagnosed the first time.  The good news is that there is medication that can be taken to help quell the itching.  The other symptoms are exhaustion and depression, but most pregnant women experience these with no other issues.

I have learned a few things--like if I start itching at dry skin on the surface, my inner itch receptors are more likely to get set off.  So, I try to keep my legs shaved and moisturized and I try to keep my hands from getting too dry.  My itching can also be set off by exercise, dehydration, and heat.  So, I try to keep cool, (sometimes putting my feet on a pan of ice), drink enough water, and refrain from being too active.  (The last one isn't THAT hard, really.)

The main outcome of this condition is a possible stillbirth in the last month of pregnancy.  So, all of my babies have, of necessity, come 3-4 weeks early.  My Dr., (who is fantastic, btw), is very cautious with this condition and is willing to bring the baby even earlier if needed.  To monitor the baby, from about 28 weeks on, I have a weekly non-stress test and several days later, a weekly diagnostic ultrasound to make sure everything inside is on the up and up.  Also, starting at that same time, I have weekly blood draws to measure the bile levels in my blood, (which must also be done fasting).  Today's test was to get a base reading so we will know how my levels are fluctuating as the pregnancy progresses.

Now, reading everything I just wrote does not seem very joyful.  In fact, just this morning, as I was driving home from the lab, with my hand hurting, I was thinking about having to do this again and again in the coming months...and I almost started crying.  It is a lot to think about and anticipate.  (Especially when you add in the fact that at the end of all of this, I get to be cut open and have a long post-c-section recovery, while caring for a newborn.)  It can be heavy to consider some days.

But, I knew what I was getting into when we decided to have another baby.  It brings me joy to think about bringing this little one into our family.  I find joy in having found a Dr. that IS cautious with this condition, (the first Dr. I went to in WA was very casual about it all--and I was NOT comfortable with that!).  Within the last couple of weeks, I have started feeling the baby move from time to time--and that is joyful as well.  And, I find joy in the fact that I have been through this before.  I know (generally) what to expect, in spite of the gravity of it all.  The first time was MUCH scarier.  So, while there are a lot of unknowns, scary possibilities, and dreaded anticipations, there is mostly joy about being able to have this experience in the first place.

Joy: Day 24

My short list of joys for the day are:

FINALLY putting up Halloween decorations.  I would like to have done a little more decorating, but that will have to wait until our house (and my life) is more settled next year.

Teaching my family an FHE lesson based on this Mormon Message.  What I have gone through recently isn't nearly that stressful, but I have been so grateful for all of the help we have received in the past few months.

Listening to Clayton singing along with the piano at the top of his lungs.

Finding that Kallie was obediently walking home (not to her friend's house like last time) when the bus dropped her off before I made it to the bus stop.

Listening to Whitney find pictures of things that start with the letter C.

Knowing that I'm keeping a very fun secret from my kids! I can't wait until Friday!

Joy: Day 23

Today, I got to teach my Mia Maids, (14-15 year old girls), a lesson on dating.  And, let me tell you, it was a lot of fun!  I only have three girls in my class and one of them went home sick yesterday.  So, it was me, the other leader, and two of my cute girls having a discussion (aided by the For the Strength of Youth booklet) about what dating is, (and isn't), how to prepare to date, and what kinds of choices we should make now. 

I LOVE teaching these girls.  I love that they can say, "What I really think is *this*," and we can have a discussion from there.  (And I hope they know that I love them no matter what!)  I love being able to address these topics with them.  And I love telling them stories about my own life.  I had a blast as I was planning my lesson thinking about the different choices I made throughout my life.  And, I found myself being very grateful for the opportunities I was (and wasn't) presented with--no matter how integral (or not) I thought they were to my personal and social development.

I found myself finding joy in the plan that God had (and still has) for me.  Certainly, there were many situations in my life that I thought needed to be different for some reason or another.  But looking back over the years, I can truly see the wisdom in His plan for me.  All of the empty hopes and dreams have faded away and my reality is brighter than anything I could have imagined.  That does not mean life is roses and sunshine.  It just means that I am grateful for the pruning and shaping done throughout my life by a loving Heavenly Father who could see so much more than I could.

Other joys from yesterday:
Celebrating my birthday again with family
Receiving an "Enormous Turnip" themed matryoshka doll (I've wanted one for YEARS!)

Joy: Day 22

On the one morning I would have the opportunity to sleep in, (for the forseeable future), I instead woke up around 6:30 a.m.  I was hungry and Ryan was (barely) up and about prepping for the race, so I decided to get dressed and join him.  I haven't ever gone through the morning pre-race routine with him.  Usually, the races start much earlier and Ryan has to be bussed to the starting line.  This time, the race started at 8 a.m. and the starting line (and consequently finish line) was right by the hotel.  It was fun to be with him before the race started! 

At about 7:45, Ryan headed over to the starting line and I headed to the on-site restaurant for breakfast.  (Ryan did share a bagel with me before that--I wouldn't have survived otherwise!)  I cannot even explain how nice it was to sit down, request breakfast, have it show up just how I wanted, and then eat uninterrupted. I didn't have to refill anyone's cereal bowl or drink of milk.  I didn't have to shovel in the food while reminding my children to get dressed, practice piano, or stop doing something.  In fact, I was the only customer in the restaurant until I was waiting for the check.  It was so peaceful.  I sent a few texts and read my Kindle while I ate.  It felt extremely indulgent!

After breakfast, I headed back to our room to blog a bit, watch some TV, shower, and finish packing the rest of our things.  Around 11:15, I took a load down to the car, came back and grabbed the last few things, then checked out.  I didn't anticipate seeing Ryan for about 25 more minutes, but decided to head to the finish line to watch and wait.

I sat in a grass median and watched (and cheered) as a few runners and walkers (from the other events) crossed the finish line.  I loved looking down the LONG stretch of road to see if I could see Ry.  Each time I saw a runner coming, I squinted to see the color of the clothes, then watched their gait.  As soon as I saw Ryan, I knew it was him.  I love that I can recognize my husband from a significant distance!  (Does that sound cheesy?  I just love that I know him so well that I can even recognize the way he walks.)  He crossed the finish line at 3:49:15, 4 minutes over his intended goal.  And I will just note here that I get choked up EVERY TIME I see him cross the finish line!  There is just something about watching someone successfully reach a goal--especially when you've been part of the process of reaching that goal.  When he finishes, I honestly feel like WE did it together.  (It's really a 90/10 split, with my end being the low number, but I still have a part in it!) :)

I joined him on the other side of the finish line and immediately started in on the questions: How was the race? How are you feeling? What can I get for you? What do you need? Where are we going now? How are your legs? Are you OK? Are you hungry? Eventually, after answering a few of the most pertinent questions, he said, as nicely as he could under pretty intense exhaustion, "No more questions." So, we walked in silence back to the conference room where the post-race food was being served.

Once there, he was visibly agitated and uncomfortable.  It was really hard for me to watch and not be able to somehow alleviate his discomfort.  He would grunt out, "water" and I'd hop up and retrieve a water bottle.  He also asked for oranges, so I brought a few and then within a minute or two, had to go get a LOT more. I also went to find bags of ice for him to put on his legs and handed him a dose of ibuprofen.  When he mentioned his arms were tingling and he was getting light-headed, I told him to put his head between his knees and started getting pretty worried.  I could just picture Mr. Doesn't-Like-to-Draw-Attention-to-Himself passing out and ending up with a LOT of attention.  I wasn't sure if I should wait it out or go find some medical help.  He quickly decided that laying down on the floor was his best option.

After a few minutes of laying down, he went to find the facilities.  When he came back, he had color in his cheeks again and I detected a trace of a smile.  From across the room, I mouthed, "Did you throw up?" To which he nodded in affirmation.  That seemed to be the turning point, because after that, he was much more his usual post-race self.  He settled onto the floor again for a few minutes and then decided he felt well enough to sit back in a chair again.  About this time, he also decided he was ready for a shower. 

On my way to the car to grab his things, I saw the guy we sat with at dinner the night before.  He asked how Ryan's race turned out--and when I told him Ry set a new PR and what his time was, the guy said, "That was a hell of a race." Apparently, this fellow has a PR of 3:47, which is fairly close to Ryan's.  In the Umatilla Marathon, however, he ran a 4:20--because, he explained, the course was killer.  So, really, I think that the way his description of the race was worded was quite accurate. 

In talking with Ryan later, he explained that a significant portion of the race was on an unpaved trail where there was a lot of gravel.  Although he did a little training on unpaved trails, he knew that trail running decreased his goal pace.  With your feet sinking a little into the gravel and not being a solid surface to push back from, I can see how that would be the case.  That was the major factor in the difficulty of this particular race and wore Ryan out earlier than usual.  Knowing all of that makes it even MORE impressive that he was only 4 minutes off his goal time!

After a shower and grabbing some food to go, (there was a potato bar set up--and the Oregon potatoes they served were quite good!), we set off for home around 2 p.m.  (I drove.)  Ryan and I have often joked that when we go on dates, we run out of conversation after 15 minutes.  Our theory is that we're so used to being interrupted and having to start again on our train of thought that it takes all evening to have 15 minutes worth of conversation.  But, we turned the radio down and talked to each other ALL THE WAY HOME from Umatilla, (which I learned that day is pronounced "yoo-ma-TILL-uh," not "oo-ma-TEE-uh," as I had been pronouncing it).  It was a 3 1/2 hour drive and we didn't hurt for topics of conversation the entire time.

Upon arriving home, our children each clamored for our attention.  Well, I walked in and as soon as Clayton saw me, he said, "Daddy!  Daddy!"  He wanted nothing to do with me and everything to do with Ryan.  I loved that he was so excited to see his dad!

We ended the day by going to dinner as a family.  It was fun, but MAN. Was I exhausted!  After two days with no naps and getting up early, my body was DONE.  Our time away was wonderful.  But, it was nice to be back home in my own bed.

Other joys from the day:
Seeing the beautiful colors as we drove through central WA.
Making connections between Ryan's marathon experience and my pregnancy experience.
Sharing a pint of Ben and Jerry's with Ryan on the drive home.
Hearing all of my kids trying to talk to me at once. (This is not usually a joy...but it seemed novel after being gone.)

Joy: Day 21

I have been looking forward to this day for MONTHS now!  Earlier this year, Ryan determined that he wanted to run a marathon sometime in October.  He originally planned on giving the Leavenworth Marathon a try, but after realizing there was no lodging in Leavenworth, (and that the marathon coincided with Oktoberfest in the little Bavarian-style town), he opted to find another.  Thus, we ended up traveling to Umatilla, OR this afternoon.

As we drove through the beautiful landscape in the peace and quiet, I read a book, worked on a project, and chatted with my husband.  I did try to sleep, but just couldn't get comfortable.  Plus, I may have felt slightly guilty that my husband was driving and maybe I should be keeping him company...  The drive was SO pleasant!  No children asking if we were there yet, or telling me they were bored, or bugging each other, or just crying.  Ahhh...JOY! 

The only major drawback was that Ryan forgot his GPS watch, which keeps him on pace.  We had hoped that maybe someone would be selling something useful at the pre-race convention...but the ONLY table set up was for the Hermiston Chamber of Commerce.  (This is definitely the SMALLEST race Ryan has ever participated in.  While Ryan had read that more than 300 people were signed up this year, we discovered last night that only about 60 of those would be marathoners.  The remaining individuals will be running the 1/2 marathon, walking the 8k, or running the Kid's 1 mile race.)  Back to the watch--we tried a few local stores to see if they even had something comparable, but our search of all 2 stores brought up nothing.  Hopefully, the app we downloaded to his phone will suffice and he'll be able to reach his pace goal!

Since we didn't really know the area, we signed up for the all-you-can-eat pasta dinner that the race sponsors put on.  When we got to the dinner, there was a table of about 8 people...and that was it.  We chose our own table, and were later joined by 2 more individuals.  One older(ish) woman told us that she has run 157 marathons, (2 of which were ultra marathons which are 100 miles!), in the past 13 years.  Holy cow.

After dinner, we just relaxed ALONE in our hotel room.  There were no children jumping from bed to bed, fighting with each other, or exploring every nook and cranny of this place.  Although, we had to laugh because when Ryan was talking to Kallie on the phone last night, she asked what our room was like.  He told her that it was a little old, (it is), and that there were two beds...and then he didn't know what else to tell her.  She asked, "Are there curtains?" (Yes.) "And an air conditioner?" (Yes.)  It really made us laugh.

There have been moments that we have missed our kids.  Well, at least times that we've commented how one child or another would enjoy this or that aspect of this adventure.  And, I know the kids would LOVE to be at the finish line and watch their daddy reach his goal.  But, not having to think about the normal care and maintenance of children.  Just having that break is a great joy!

I can't wait to see how Ryan's marathon turns out this time--to watch him cross the finish line, to hear about his experience, and to be his post-finish support.  Being part of his experience (once again!) brings me a lot of joy.

Joy: Day 20

Today was a great day!  My joys began early this morning, when I couldn't sleep any longer and ended up heading downstairs about 45 minutes earlier than usual.  As I came down, my husband jokingly protested, "You're not supposed to be up yet!" He was doing some stealthy birthday decorating.  But, a pregnant woman's hunger pains don't sit too well first thing in the morning, so I proceeded to the kitchen to make my breakfast.  I promised not to watch, but gave a minor bit of help when he dropped an end of a streamer while up on a step stool.

When the kids got up, they each told me Happy Birthday, but my favorite was Clayton.  I was in the other room when Ryan told Clayton to tell mommy happy birthday.  When I walked back into the kitchen, Clayton ran up to me, hugged my legs, and said, "Birthday, Mom!"  It just warmed my heart.

That morning, one of my friends offered to take me to lunch.  So, the morning was filled with phone calls, baking a cake, (Yes--I made my own!  I love cooking/baking--and my sweet husband, with everything else he's doing for me right now, just didn't have time.  I was SO fine with that!  I actually enjoyed making exactly what I wanted and having it turn out wonderfully.), showering, and getting the kids ready to go.  It was a nice, relaxing morning.  I ended up being (more than) a few minutes late to lunch at Panera.  Several of my friends were there, along with several kids, and it was so fun to enjoy a lunch out with the ladies.  I found joy in my friends and in the moment.

That afternoon, I read a little and napped.  In spite of the fact that I got my kids down for naps at their usual time, they were extremely tired--and I was glad--because they slept for a long time.  Unfortunately, I didn't get to sleep as long as I'd hoped, since I needed to pick Kallie up from the bus stop.  But, the rest of the afternoon, I didn't have anything on my agenda, so I chilled while the kids kept sleeping.  I also made the whipped cream cream cheese frosting for my cake...but I didn't make dinner.

After Ryan came home, mixed and started homemade ice cream freezing, and made/served dinner, we opened gifts.  That morning, as I lay awake in bed, it occurred to me that Ryan might have gotten me a Kindle.  I had three million questions about it, but of course, I couldn't ask...yet.  I had to wait and see!  Sure enough, when I opened my present, it WAS a Kindle!  Sometimes I wonder if my husband and I are so much on the same wave length that we just know what's on the other person's mind.  I was extremely excited to receive a Kindle!  It's one of those things that I wouldn't ever get for myself, but I absolutely love to read, so it's incredibly fun to have.  Plus, after thinking about it all day, I was really hoping I was right! :)

After birthday cake and homemade almond cream ice cream, (topped with pie cherries, YUM!), Ryan put the kids to bed while I played with my new toy.  I ended up downloading 13 books, (all free and mostly classics/fairy tales).  I started reading a little that night, but it was already getting late, (as in past 9 p.m.), so I had to put my fun aside and get to bed. 

My birthday really was a joyful day.  I determined that no matter what happened, I was going to have fun.  So, when Clayton was grumpy all through lunch, and spilled a glass of ice water, it didn't really even phase me.  It made me smile when I handed him a napkin and he helped wipe up his mess.  And, probably the best part was when my kids complained or whined, I reminded them that it was my birthday, and whining or complaining was NOT ALLOWED.  :)  They took that to heart and really tried to be extra nice.  (Although there was a little unraveling in the evening as their excitement started to overcome their capacities.)  In the end, I may not LOVE the number now assigned to my years of experience, but I find joy in celebrating another year of living.  Happy Birthday to me!

Joy: Day 19

This morning, I read the blog of one of my former college roommates.  I have to admit, I was fairly intimidated by this girl when we were roommates.  I mean, who wouldn't be?  She was incredibly cute, a fabulous dancer, and extremely smart--all of which I would have loved to be, but just wasn't.  Oh, and did I mention she loved playing sports?  (Again, not me.)  Of course, all of the boys noticed her and I don't think she ever arrived at Friday night wondering what she should do with all of her extra time.  Needless to say, when I compared myself to her during those years, I seemed to find myself lacking.

As I read her blog, I found myself marvelling at what she has accomplished with her life.  She got married toward the end of college--to an extremely intelligent man.  In spite of getting horribly sick with each pregnancy, she has had 5 children and maintained a slim figure.  She lives on a farm in the midwest and is learning the ropes of raising sheep, chickens, and cows, (and maybe some other livestock), and has a successful garden.  She seems to be handling the stresses of raising a family and a farm all very well. 

As I, once again, found myself comparing my life with hers, I found that I was able to really find joy in where my friend is in life.  I was able to see past my own insufficiencies and really be excited for the things in which she is succeeding.  In the 12+ years since we have really been in contact, I have learned that feeling joy for someone else's accomplishments does not diminish my own.  Her success in life doesn't mean that I haven't been successful in my own life.  The abilities and experiences she has had don't invalidate mine.  This may seem rather elementary, but it's something that's been on my mind lately.  I find joy in knowing that I can let go of my own self-doubt and truly find joy in the abilities and talents of another.

Other items on my list of joy today:
Kallie lost her second tooth this morning!
Kallie's books on hold will no longer take up space on my hold list, since I activated her online account this morning.  She currently has 13 books on hold. (This doesn't count the 2 she got last night--one of which she has already finished.  AND the 17 still on hold under my account.)
I ran some fun errands this morning--with just me and Clayton.
Our furnace is once again in working order!
The decorative pillows I bought MONTHS ago look fantastic on my newly covered bed!

Joy: Day 18

When I woke up yesterday, my world was misty--covered in a blanket of light fog for as far as I could see.  I was certainly grateful for the sunshine the day before, but I absolutely LOVE those foggy mornings.  It makes me feel like I live in a fairy tale for some reason.  Maybe it conjures up pictures and feelings of standing in a tower of Turaida Castle in Latvia, where I went on a Culture Day when I was a missionary there.  I don't think I'll ever forget looking out over that landscape, which is very similar to where I now live, and seeing the mist rise up from the forest. I just wanted to breathe in that moment and make it part of me forever.  BEAUTIFUL! (I just got a burst of giddiness that I get to go back in two years!!) 

After that inspiring morning, the sun ended up warming off the mist and we ended up having a gorgeous fall day.  I needed the sunshine, too.  And I loved that I was able to find joy in both the mist and the sunshine yesterday.

My other main joy from the day came from my evening chat with my husband.  We don't get a lot of time to talk these days.  When he's home, I'm usually in bed and he's caring for the kids and/or cleaning something that needs attention.  So last night, as we prepared for our nightly prayers, we started chatting.  (This is usually when the chatting begins...kids are in bed and we FINALLY have time to talk to each other!)  I don't know how long we talked, laughed, and joked with each other, but it was SO what I needed. 

Oh yes--one more funny that HAS to make it into the annals of our family history: Last night Ryan took Kallie to the library after piano lessons.  He let her browse the chapter books while he was selecting a few for Whitney and Clayton.  She managed to find a new set in her favorite series, Rainbow Magic Fairies.  When Ryan came to collect her, he found her standing at the computer with her two Night Fairy books.  She had written down "Night Fairies" on a piece of paper and was attempting to scan what she had written with the mouse.  For some reason, it wasn't working! LOL  I guess now that she has her own library card, it's probably time for me to teach her how to use the library catalog.  I loved hearing about her sweet little attempt to find what she was looking for!

Joy: Day 17

My list of joys for yesterday:

The sun was shining!  I love this cool fall weather--especially when it's sunny outside.

I didn't have to argue with my 6 year old about doing her homework, practicing the piano, or helping.

Getting back in goal-setting mode with my good friend.

Putting a new (to us) white down comforter on my bed.  Maybe my bedroom will eventually look more like the picture in my head!

Joy: Day 16

If I am completely honest, I feel like I have been HORRIBLE at my calling for the last few months.  Right now, I am the Mia Maid advisor, which means I teach girls ages 14-15 during the last hour of church each Sunday.  I LOVE this calling--and I enjoy it immensely.  More recently, though, I have felt very diminished in my ability to give the girls the full depth of my care and concern.  It's not that I don't love them, because I do.  I get to work with some amazing Young Women!  It's just that I've been reduced to survival mode--and at that point, anything that doesn't HAVE to be done to survive just doesn't top my list of priorities.  But, as the layers of sickness have been diminishing, I find myself returning to...well, myself.  I feel like my mental and spiritual capacities are starting to resurface from beneath the haze of sickness and survival.  It does still depend on the day--but returning to my senses, one small degree at a time, makes me feel so happy!

Yesterday was a good day.  For the first time in a few months, I was able to attend a class presidency meeting and start to feel really connected with my girls (and my calling) again.  During church, I finally felt connected enough to act on some inspiration that has been pressing on the back of my mind for a few weeks now--and I hope that it will make a difference.  I feel that I was inspired as I planned my lesson in the morning and I continued to be inspired as I taught that afternoon.  (I've also been feeling very lacking in the inspiration area as well, so that was also a very good feeling.)  The girls even commented on what a great lesson it was!  I have felt like my teaching in the past few months has been status quo--nothing special.  So, it was great to feel that connection with my calling again. 

I guess what it all comes down to is that before being pregnant, I felt so much joy in my calling.  Yes, there are challenges and it can be frustrating sometimes.  But, I loved so much being where I was--and in the past few months, that joy just wasn't apparent.  Yesterday, thought, that joy was very apparent.  I know that we are blessed when we do our best to serve God in the ways He has asked us to.  And I know that those blessings bring joy to our lives as well as to the lives of those we serve.  I am so excited to be getting back to myself and, once again, be able to soak in the joy of service.

Joy: Day 15

It seems my evenings are getting away from me a little more often than I'd like.  Yesterday was a recovery day for me, (after the energy and excitement of the two previous days).  And while I'd love to have some amazing, well-thought blog post to capture your attention today, I don't.  I just have my list of joy for the day:

Joy is having my husband take charge and clean the girls' bedroom, including re-sorting the toy bins, washing sheets, making the beds, taking down the former fish tank (the fish died about a month ago), vacuuming, and cleaning off the dresser.  It has been on my mind for quite a while, but there are some things that just have to slide these days.

Joy is having this same husband, (I really think I should just start referring to him as Superman), spend his entire day cleaning.  After the girls' room, he helped them clean their bathroom, vacuumed the entire upstairs, changed the sheets on all the other beds, went grocery shopping with all three kids (which isn't really cleaning, but needs to be thrown in there), then came home and cleaned the kitchen, the family room, and the living room, including vacuuming and some dusting.  Oh--and he did laundry in between the rest of it all.

He kept the kids entertained and working throughout the day and somehow managed to maintain his sanity through it all.  It's DEFINITELY a joy to be married to a man who cares so much about his wife and family that he will literally do whatever it takes, (including scrubbing toilets!), to ensure their happiness.  WHAT A MAN!

Joy: Day 14 (or Good Enough)

I just put my extremely grumpy toddler in bed.  He'd been crying at me for at least 30 minutes.  Which means I waited too long to put him to bed.  (But, there is a little whisper in the back of my mind is saying something about maybe 2-year molars having something to do with it...)

While he was grumping at me, my girls were having some kind of argument over something they were playing with.

My husband, after his long day of work, went straight to the dry pack cannery, (where he still is), to do his part and also increase our food storage supplies.

And, the miracle of today is that even after the crazy day I had, I still had energy to put the children to bed.  By myself.  Without throwing up.

This morning, I woke up planning to take the entire morning to finish Kallie's costume for the Halloween birthday party she was to attend at 10:30.  I figured it would be an apt plan, since I was waiting for someone to show up to tend to our misbehaving furnace during the 9-11 a.m. window.  At 8:40, it suddenly dawned on me that I had neglected to pick up a gift for my daughter to take to said party.  Life got a lot more hurried (and complicated) at that moment. 

I rushed to sew feather boa pieces to the wrists of her shirt and ankles of her pants.  The tails and ears that were to complete her poodle costume were just going to have to wait until closer to Halloween.  I decided that, for today, it was going to have to be good enough.

I rushed through a quick shower at 9:15, dressed myself and Clayton, and left the house, (gift bags in assorted sizes and Kallie's handmade card in tow), by 9:55 a.m.  On the way to the store, I prayed that the furnace people would be delayed and not show up in the 30 minutes I was going to be gone.

We rushed through the aisles and found what we (meaning Kallie and myself) both deemed an appropriate gift and were on our way to the party by 10:23.  I got the children all buckled and hopped in the car as Kallie was struggling to insert the gift into the largest gift bag we had brought.  Then I realized I hadn't brought (nor bought) tissue paper to stuff in the top of the bag.  The gift was slightly too large for the bag, but oh well.  I opened the card, (grateful my daughter had used a piece of plain paper to draw on), and arranged it over the top of the gift and called it good enough. 

As I was pulling out, my cell rang--it was the furnace people.  They apologized because they had been delayed and weren't going to be able to make until between 11-11:30.  I wasn't sure if they were religious people, so instead of saying, "YOU JUST ANSWERED MY HURRIED PRAYER!," I told them that was perfect because something unexpected had some up and I wasn't home at the moment anyway.  The girl on the other end laughed.  I'm sure they don't often have people telling them thank you for not showing up on time.

Upon arriving at the party, I quickly drew a puppy nose on Kallie with a few well-placed freckles on her cheeks so people wouldn't ask if she happened to be a girl wearing fur-trimmed pajamas for Halloween.  I was quite relieved when the first person to see her realized that she was a dog.  Again--good enough!

By the time we got home, I was ready for lunch--even though it wasn't 11 yet.  I turned on a Netflix movie for my children and sat down to eat and wait for the furnace people to show.  They arrived about 11:20(ish) and I snuggled with my son while they were clanging around my furnace.  Twenty minutes later, they were gone with a diagnosis of bad flame sensor--and instructions to leave the furnace off until they could get the part, which could be any time from a few days to a week.  I hoped the sweaters, footie jammies, space heater, and fireplace that doesn't put out much in the way of useful heat would be good enough to get us through the chillier days we've been having until that part comes in.

I picked Kallie up at 12:30, came home, and put Clayton to bed, read one chapter to Whitney, (we usually read two, but one was going to have to be good enough today), and then started working on a spiritual thought for a Young Women's meeting I had coming up at 2 p.m. 

My babysitter arrived at 1:55 and the counselor over me picked me up right about the same time.  We had a great meeting.  There are a lot of challenges associated with teaching the Young Women, but there are also a lot of amazing and incredible blessings that come from having this opportunity.  I love being in Young Women's right now!

On the way home, my cute babysitter called.  Upon going out back to blow bubbles with my oldest daughter, (the other 2 kids were napping in the house), she discovered that the door, while unlocked from the inside, was locked from the outside.  Since she is a responsible babysitter, she had locked the front door after I left and was, therefore, locked out of the house.  Unfortunately, she had also locked her cell phone inside the house.  Not knowing what else to do, she ran (with Kallie) to her house (a 3 minute walk away) to have her mom call me.  Turns out her mom doesn't have my number, so she called the YW President, whose home I was at, but the phone wasn't answered.  She ran back to my house, then across the street to see if the neighbors across the street knew my phone number or knew how to get a hold of the neighbors who DO have my number.  No luck in either situation.  In the end, Whitney finally woke up from her nap, came downstairs, and unlocked the door.  When she finally got to her phone to call me, I was blissfully on my way home from my meeting.  I can only imagine how stressed out my poor babysitter must have been knowing that there were two children inside she was supposed to be caring for, yet not being able to get to them and not knowing exactly what to do to change the situation.  When all was said and done, I think she certainly did good enough.

After I got home, my kids were out back blowing bubbles.  I started making dinner while they were otherwise occupied.  A few minutes later, Clayton came in the house with bubble solution all over his arms.  I stopped stirring my white sauce, (on its way to becoming macaroni and cheese), just long enough to give Clayton a quick wash down.  It was going to have to be good enough--I had to get back to the white sauce. 

I sent him back outside...only to have him return less than 5 minutes later with bubble solution dumped from the top of his forehead down his face and dripping onto his onesie shirt.  (Did I mention this was from a non-spill bubble tumbler?)  Again, I left the now cheese sauce and plopped Clayton in the kitchen sink.  I rinsed bubbles out of his eyes and mouth, stripped down his bubbly clothes, and instructed him to stay in the sink--while I asked his sister to PLEASE bring me jammies and a towel for her brother.  He sat in the sink, in only his diaper, without turning the water on, for a full ten minutes while I was finishing up dinner.  I was actually quite impressed that he stayed there--and the entire situation just made me laugh!

Finally, once the mac and cheese was ready, I removed Clayton from the sink, changed his diaper, put jammies on and got the kids settled down to eat.  By this point, I was feeling pretty DONE from the day--but knew that I still had bedtime to conquer before my evening was over.  But, at the moment, the kids were alive and not hungry and that was good enough.

Now the kids are in all in bed, (not without some drama, of course), and my husband just arrived home.  Whew!  In spite of the craziness of the day, my joys are found in being good enough today.  I take comfort in the fact that I don't have to be perfect.  My children don't have to be perfect.  And my life doesn't have to be perfect.  When I do the best I can, I have to recognize that it's good enough--and then just let it be.

Joy: Day 13

I have a really good excuse for not writing last night.  Because one of my friends was under the weather, a gathering of our friends was changed to my home at the last minute.  I was incredibly grateful that I felt SO well yesterday...and that I had the stamina to stay up past 9:30.  And this brings me to my joy for yesterday.

Just after we moved into our home, (almost a year and a half ago), I auditioned for our LDS stake's musical, "The Music Man."  I had been in the play in high school and just couldn't pass up the opportunity to be part of something so fun.  And, I knew it would be a fantastic opportunity to get to know people in the stake.  I was thrilled when I was asked to play the part of Maud Dunlop--one of the Pick-A-Little ladies.  Little did I know at the time what a fantastic group of ladies I would have the opportunity to work with!

During the course of rehearsals, hat decorating, and life situations, we Pick-A-Littles became a pretty tight-knit little group.  (Not to mention the love triangle we watched unravel, the "male dancers" we laughed about, our favorite togas, and trying to make each other lose it on stage.)  We discovered that we have quite a lot of fun with each other!  By the time the play ended, we knew that we just couldn't go too long without gathering to pick-a-little, talk-a-little.  I am pleased to say that next week marks the one year anniversary of opening night--and since that time, we have gathered once a month, (more or less).

I honestly don't know what I would do without these fabulously amazing women!  They are the kind of friends that you know you can just be yourself around--and they will love you anyway.  After all, they've seen me at my best and worst and can still stand to be my friends!  Plus, they have taught me so much through their examples.  Their friendships bring me joy.  And, let me tell you, chatting with them last night was certainly worth the late night and (hopefully) early bedtime I will enjoy tonight!

P.S. Mel: We certainly missed you--and I hope you're feeling MUCH, MUCH better!

Joy: Day 12

Today has been one of those days.  The thing that really gets to me is that I know exactly WHY it's been one of those days and, here's the clincher...I did it to myself!!  Staying up later-than-usual last night was not a good idea.  Even when I'm not pregnant, I am a girl who needs her sleep.  Sleep is so necessary for me that my sweet husband will do almost anything to make sure I go to bed at a decent hour.  Just like every other aspect of my life right now, pregnancy seems to magnify this issue about 100 times.

I woke up at my normal hour this morning, but could feel the exhaustion pressing around the edges--more than usual.  At naptime, I rested in bed, but somehow wasn't tired enough to lay down my book and go to sleep.  And then things deteriorated from there.  (Apparently, I need to STOP reading.  It's all the reading that's killing me right now...)  For the past few hours, I've been weepy, slow-moving, and not really caring that my kids weren't listening.  I just didn't have the energy to struggle with them tonight.  (Although I did still manage to fix dinner and feed my children prior to my husband's arrival home at 6:30.) 

So, tonight, my biggest joy is actually something that I feel was lacking to some degree today--and that is health.  I suppose this is all relative, as I'm still nauseated quite a bit.  BUT, when I'm tired, I just don't deal with the rest of life very well.  And, in order to be more open to joy tomorrow, I am going to bed. Right now.

Joy: Day 11

So, techincally, this post should have been written last night.  BUT, I stayed up much too late for my pregnant self (past 10 p.m.) to finish the last book of a series that I have been reading for YEARS. 

I first found the Betsy-Tacy series the summer between my sophomore and junior years of college.  I was working full-time as a receptionist in a relatively quiet office on BYU campus.  I wasn't taking any classes and needed something productive to fill my time.  Someone suggested I try that series--so I headed to the children's section of the good ol' HBLL and checked it out, (along with several Louisa May Alcott books).  At the time, I didn't realize that the Betsy-Tacy series was more than the first couple of books.  I loved what I read and decided right then that I was going to have those books in my home one day.  Sure enough, now that I have 2 girls, I am slowly but surely acquiring the set.

Finishing the series brought me joy.  I loved following the characters through their lives and FINALLY finding out where they all end up.  I have often been in awe of authors.  Creating a story line, with multiple characters, and multiple twists and turns requires quite a bit of talent.  Therefore, I also find joy in the talents of others--especially when they're good enough to keep me up, enthralled in the world they've created.

Joy: Day 10

It's hard to believe I'm already a third into this little Joy project!  I am enjoying it immensely.  Yesterday we were watching Mormon Messages after dinner (while waiting for America's Funniest Videos to come on) and one of them featured President Eyring's talk on gratitude.  He talked about keeping a daily journal of the ways he saw the hand of the Lord in his life that day.  It made me think about this study of joy that I have undertaken.  I wanted to say a "search" for joy--but really, I haven't had to do a whole lot of searching.  The joy is there.  I have seen it in my life.  But, now I'm pondering it and recording it, which makes it more meaningful in many ways for me.

Tonight I felt joy listening to my 4 (getting close to 5) year old give the lesson for Family Home Evening.  She related a story from The Friend.  I was quite impressed that she remembered the details of the story, (from the shine on the apples, to the lights on the porch coming on), after only hearing it once.  If any of my children end up being a writer, I think she'd be the one to do it.  She is endlessly imaginative, and holds on to pieces of stories, (or entire stories, apparently), for quite a long time.

I felt it again when my normally fussing-at-bedtime son ran into my room (where I was laying in bed) and turned his little face up to me with pursed lips.  "Kisses?," I asked, and he grunted an assent.  After kisses, he immediately turned and happily ran to his room so daddy could sing and rock him to sleep.  I love listening to my husband sing to our children.  I don't know that he pictured himself doing that as a dad.  But, he does it because he loves our children.

And, this morning, I felt joy in knowing and understanding the precious Plan of Salvation.  I learned that a friend's son passed away yesterday.  He has been a little fighter since he was born prematurely almost a year and a half ago.  He spent his entire life in the hospital--doctors never really seeming to know exactly what was wrong or how to fix it.  He embodied many miracles during his short stay on the earth.  His passing has allowed me to think, again, of the blessing of knowing where he is now--that he is in the presence of his loving Heavenly Father.  And because of beautiful temple covenants, he forever belongs to his parents.  What joy in knowing that families are forever!

Joy: Day 9

This morning, I had a few quiet moments, (while my husband bathed my kids--I know.  He's AMAZING like that!), so I delved into "Daughters in My Kingdom," the new book about the history of the Relief Society.  One of the paragraphs really caught my attention:

Elder James E. Talmage of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, "The world's greatest champion of woman and womanhood is Jesus the Christ."

The Savior taught women in multitudes and as individuals, on the street and by the seashore, at the well and in their homes.  He showed loving-kindness toward them and healed them and their family members.  In many parables, He told stories of women engaged in ordinary activities.  He demonstrated deep familiarity with women's lives and drew timeless gospel lessons from their everyday experiences.  He forgave them. He wept with them.  He had compassion on them in their specific circumstances as daughters, wives, homemakers, mothers, and widows.  He appreciated them and ennobled them.

(Daughters in My Kingdom, p. 3)

This has long been a principle from the Savior's life that I have cherished.  But reading it in this context and during this season of my life gave me a different perspective.  I find joy in the Savior's treatment and reverence of women.  And I find joy in my own womanhood.  I know that as I combine the two, Jesus Christ will still do for me and for my family what He did when He was on the earth.  He will teach me--wherever I am with an open heart.  He will heal me and my family members.  He offers me precious forgiveness and has compassion on me as I fall short in so many ways.

I find joy in priesthood leaders who also reverence and respect women.  What a beautiful life we create when we, as women, bring our strengths, gifts, and abilities together with the strengths and talents of righteous men.  By such means, we create much good in the world.  I joy in the opportunity to share my womanhood in my home--to join with my husband and together create a home filled with love and harmony.  There is truly no greater joy to me than being a faithful and respected woman.

Joy: Day 8

Today was a very slow day at our house. Usually my husband is running around doing a million and one things on a Saturday. But after finishing his 20 mile training run this morning, he took it a little easier than normal. My joys for today are:
I made it through the day without Zofran! This is huge, as that has not happened in about 7 weeks.
Spending time with my husband, which doesn't usually happen on a Saturday.
Being surprised with crisscut fries (my current crave) and eating the BEST burger I've had in a while. All courtesy of my husband, who, in his own words, spoils me!

Joy: Day 7

This morning, Clayton and I got to join Whitney's preschool class at a local farm/pumpkin patch.  I don't have any pics, as it was raining, and I figured chasing 2 kids around such a venue in such weather would make the camera more of a piece of luggage than a benefit.

We started in the corn box.  I've played in corn boxes before...they were small and about 6 inches deep.  This corn box was at least twice as big as the ball pits that used to be in the McDonald's playlands.  And, when I stepped in, I found myself in corn up to my knees!  I wouldn't have had the opportunity to find out the depth, except Clayton found himself stranded in the middle of the box--NOT enjoying the feel of feed corn on his stocking feet.  Instead, we sat on the hay bales and watched Whitney and her friends enjoy the box.  We also watched another little boy (age 3) have a puddle jumping contest with his mom (age 30-something)...I think he ended up making bigger splashes than she did!

After the corn box, we headed over to the animal pens.  We saw 3 month old calves, a miniature donkey, 2 piglets, a couple of goats, and a bunny rabbit or two.  Whitney was in the middle of the action and Clayton held back, not sure of the sudden moves the animals would make.  He was very concerned when the snorting piglets started putting their front legs up on the fence. 

When we walked into the hay barn, Clayton freaked out a little, thinking we were headed back into a corn box.  During the first few activities, he saw a couple of tractors and kept begging to ride the tractors.  He was severely disappointed when we left the bike track stocked with John Deere tricycles much to big for him to ride.  He cried all the way through the hay maze...and was finally placated when we went to the pumpkin patch.  Whitney jumped from bale to bale with her friends, and I hardly saw her in the hay maze!  (It wasn't much of a maze...mostly a hay loft on the ground with a few tubes to crawl through.)

Clayton and Whitney selected nearly identical pumpkins...small with a long curved-ish stem.  From that moment on, Clayton insisted on carrying his own pumpkin--in a grocery bag on his tiny arm.  But, the ultimate activity of the day for Clayton happened when we went on a hay ride!  We sat near the front, just so Clayton could see the tractor pulling us.  He was happy as a little clam when we climbed on the wagon and from the time we got off, he kept mentioning going on the tractor. 

We ended the day by playing in the Kiddie Korral for a while.  Whitney was off like the little social butterfly that she is...and Clayton immediately gravitated to the tractors in the sandbox.  After a few minutes there, we went up to the bubble wand table and Clayton tried his hand at making huge bubbles.  He wasn't very successful, but he was sure having fun trying!  I had to laugh at these Washington kids.  They'd been walking through the misty rain all morning--but once we got to the Korral, they all ended up playing with the bubbles and the water pumps.  I guess they were already wet, so it didn't really matter anyway.  When it was time to go, I had to call Whitney about 15 times--she was still at the water table.

We had a great time.  And, in spite of Clayton's pumpkin losing its stem in a tragic accident during the drive home, Clayton is still carrying it around the house.

There were so many joys in my day today.  While I didn't joy in Clayton's discomfort with the corn box, I DO joy in watching my children try new things--new textures, new situations, new experiences--and I joy in seeing their reactions.  Experiencing life is part of why we're here!  I found joy in Clayton's fascination with tractors.  He was SO thrilled to finally get to ride on that tractor!  He's at an age when so much of life is new and exciting. It makes me happy to see his joy in life.  And, I found joy in watching Whitney in her independent element--playing with her friends and enjoying her experience at the farm.  I honestly didn't see much of her while we were there because she was so busy having fun!

Joy: Day 6

Thank God for the joys of family life. 

I have often said there can be no genuine happiness

separate and apart from a good home.  The sweetest influences

and associations of life are there.  Life cannot be fully successful,

no matter what goals we attain in the material world,

no matter what honors of men come to us in our lives,

if we fail as fathers, mothers, and children.

--Ezra Taft Benson

Growing up, I wouldn't have considered my family especially close.  Sure, my brothers and sisters and I learned to co-exist together, but it often seemed there were as many arguments and frustrations as there were quiet and/or enjoyable times.  However, now that I can look back on those years--and now that I see where we have ended up--I would have to say that my family is pretty close.  When we get together and hang out now, we (mostly) enjoy each others' company.  Sure we still have moments, few and far between, of power struggles and other disruptions.  But, overall, we enjoy spending time with each other and quite often talk, text, facebook, or e-mail one another.  We all know what's happening in our siblings' lives and find joy in encouraging, helping, and just talking with each other.

Today, I had the opportunity to text with my mom about a party we're going to throw for one of my siblings in December.  Recently, my older brother successfully defended his dissertation and, therefore, will graduate with his PhD in December.  After 6 1/2 LONG years of moving their family every summer for his studies, not to mention late nights, grant proposal writing, etc., he and his wife (and their 4.5 children) certainly deserve a celebration!  And, I can't help but share in their joy.  Over the years of his hard work, we have prayed, fasted, encouraged, cheered, and tried to do what we could to help them reach this point.  Just this past summer, while he was interviewing for a very-good-for-him-and-his-family position, we fasted and prayed for him and his family.  He got the job, which brought his family within a 12 hour drive of us--where it had been a 3-4 day drive before.  Talk about joy!  When you invest your heart in something like that, how can you not feel joy in his success? Thus, being able to FINALLY plan this party brings me a lot of joy!  Not to mention, it's a lot of fun to come up with a bunch of ideas to be sifted over and finally (eventually) presented in a fabulous event!

Another joy I have been experiencing lately is that of helping my inlaws prepare for their mission.  In a little less than a month, they will enter the MTC--on my 10 year MTC-entrance anniversary--and after a week or two will head out to the Baltic Mission, which is the same mission I served in!  They get to serve in my favorite city!  Over the past few weeks, I have been helping with Russian lessons, sharing (over and over) memories of the city, and shopping with my mother-in-law for her missionary wardrobe.  The joy I have felt in sharing in their preparations has been amazing! 

As part of sending my inlaws off, I have wanted to prepare a Lavtian dinner for them before they left.  A few months ago, I searched online for recipes and began to prepare the menu.  I bookmarked a few recipes, but managed not to bookmark one of them.  This past Sunday, I was reviewing the menu and realized I couldn't find that ONE chicken dish I planned to make.  I remembered a bit of what was in it, but no internet search could pull up the ONE recipe I had my heart set on.  Having been touched by Devn Cornish's conference talk on prayer and his story of the quarter for chicken, I asked for help in finding that ONE recipe.  Yeah--it wasn't very important and I could always make something else.  But, for some reason, that recipe was important to me.

Today, that prayer was answered.  By looking on a site I'd seen 1000 times in my previous searches, I clicked on one recipe that I was sure wasn't it--but then it was.  It brought me joy to have such a simple, insignificant prayer answered.  Knowing that no matter how small I am, how small my request is, Heavenly Father is aware of me brings me joy.  I am so excited to share this dish with my inlaws and have found joy (once again) in planning their send-off dinner!



Joy: Day 5 (Or By The Minute)

Don't worry...I'm not going to detail EVERY minute of my joy today.  I have a tendency to forget some of the things I've felt joyful about during my day--so today, as I felt joy, I kept a list of the time and the happening on my phone.  Here it is:

7:18 Dippy eggs with white toast.  (Which is about the ONLY thing my tummy can handle for breakfast these days!)
8:30 Played the "Bus Time Game" with Kallie.  We both estimate the minute the bus will arrive.  Closest person wins.
8:36 Kallie won the game for the first time EVER with a guess of 8:37.
8:52 Whitney said, "Zat fweaked me out," when I accidentally bumped the "PANIC" button on my car key fob.
8:57 Listened to Clayon name animals I didn't know he knew.  (These third kids seem to slide things past you like that...)
9:01 Clayton asked me to comb his hair and put a barrette in.  I brushed it and then explained that boys don't wear barrettes.
9:04 Felt a tiny hand wrap itself around my arm and give me pats.
9:57 Snagged an amazingly close parking spot at Wal-Mart.
10:33 Listened to Clayton clapping and chair dancing in the back seat of the car while listening to the Tangled soundtrack.
10:45 Target popcorn!
10:59 Found 2 shirts for the girls' Halloween costumes.  The pants will be easy to make...right?
11:20 Ran into 3 friends at Target.
12:02 Sipped Gala apple cider, which I've been craving for a few days now.
12:09 Whitney made PB&Js for lunch today. She loves the independence and I love that I don't have to do it!
1:03 Clayton dances frequently to any upbeat music playing...be it from a commercial, kids' show, or battery-operated toy.  This was one of those moments.
1:31 Clayton down for a nap.
1:56 Finished reading THREE chapters to Whitney, who insisted that she was much too tired for storytime today.  The third chapter was also at her insistence.
2:00 Naptime for mommy.
4:26 Listened to my kids play nicely together.
4:45 Listened to my oldest practice together.
5:06 I climbed into bed. PBS brings me joy at moments like this because it enthralls my children while I'm out of commission.

Joy: Day 4

As I climbed into bed tonight, I realized that my bed brings me great joy.  The joy of knowing that I've made it through another day.  Sometimes, I climb in earlier in the day...a few times.  That fact brings me joy, too.  Because it means I got OUT of bed in the first place.  Or that my children are napping.  I don't know that my bed has ever been so soothing, so welcoming, and so comforting at any point in my life.  But for now it is.  And I'm going to enjoy it.

I found joy in a few other things that happened today:

I introduced my daughters to one of my favorite movies: "Ever After: A Cinderella Story."  At first, they complained that it was a GROWN UP movie, and they had wanted to watch a KIDS movie.  But, by the end, they were both hooked.  It brought me joy to pass on something that I enjoy so much to my girls.  Related to this, the soundtrack to that movie is joyful for me.  Just hearing the opening strains of music was like feeling a fresh, gentle breeze in my mind--it brought back so many wonderful memories.  It was wonderful to have a reminder of how much I love that music...how it expands my soul.

Earlier today, I made a foray to the craft store for the first time since I've been pregnant.  I went in search of one particular item in one particular color and texture.  And, on my second look, I found it!  This was a source of joy because I've been imagining using this item to create something--and look forward to passing it on to someone else when that something is finished. 

That brings me to my next source of joy.  With the acquisition of the materials, today I started one of the projects I've been thinking about for a while now.  As I began my creation, my daughter asked if I would teach her how to make something similar.  (I realize I'm being cryptic here...it's out of necessity!)  It reminded me of the days when I was young and my mom taught me to create in so many different ways.  That ability to create brings me joy.  And I hope to pass that on to my children.

And speaking of passing things on to our children, I am hoping to pass on the joy I find in reading to my children.  Now that my oldest child is finally old enough to read chapter books, I find myself getting into discussions with her about what she's reading, what she's going to read next, and what I recommend she read.  My middle child and I have reading time every day at nap time--I just love reading with her, sharing fun books I've recently discovered, and laughing or gasping together as we experience the story simultaneously.  It also thrills me every time my youngest brings me books and asks me to read to him.  Knowing that I'm passing on a love of books and reading to my kids brings me joy.

Joy: Day 3

This blog post has been running through my head all day, but now that I'm actually laying down to write it, (yes, I'm more laying than sitting at the moment while typing on the laptop in my bed), it's not congealing in my head like it did earlier.  Maybe that means I need to write earlier.  But then I'd miss out on the joy of the evenings.  And I can't do that.  So, I will just have to be content with a mediocre blog post.

Before this project started, I'd been thinking a lot about joy in my life--although I didn't realize I was doing it.  After a month of intense sickness and merely getting through each day, I was missing out on that spark that being joyful brings.  I was grateful.  OH, I had (still have) many reasons to be grateful.  But the daily joys were escaping my attention.  Since I've been feeling a bit better, my soul longed to again see the joy in every day living.

Sunday, as I was listening to General Conference, someone (I can't remember who at the moment) talked about how we use our time.  The longer he spoke, the more the Spirit spoke to me.  After several minutes, I grabbed my cell phone and uninstalled the "Solitaire" game that had occupied many mindless, joyless hours for me in the past month.  My rationale in playing the game was that I was too sick to really focus on anything else.  The game didn't matter, so it didn't really matter whether I won or lost.  And, after all, it was something to fill the LONG days of trying not to move if I didn't have to.  But I knew that it wasn't the best use of my time.  It wasn't bringing me any joy.

Over the past couple of weeks, since my health has improved enough that I feel more alive than dead, I still relied on the game.  I was gradually adding in other pursuits, but would often opt for the mindlessness of the game over something that would be more mind-consuming, and therefore leave me with a greater sense of fulfillment.

Today, (obviously), I didn't play the game at all.  Instead, I finished reading a book, which brought me closer to a personal goal I've set.  I snuggled with my son while watching Bob the Builder and Mighty Machines.  I made pumpkin bread.  I planned this blog post in my head. I thought about items I would like to create and projects I'd like to start. And, perhaps most importantly, I found a selection of articles on lds.org about joy, printed them, stapled them, and plan to read them over the next few weeks as I pursue joy.  All of these things today brought me joy. 

Tonight, as I was reading one of the articles, "Joy and Mercy," by Dallin H. Oaks, one of the sentences in the first paragraph stood out to me:

Joy is the ultimate sensation of well-being.

It comes from being complete and in harmony

with our Creator and his eternal laws.

And it struck me.  When I was playing the mindless game, I wasn't in harmony with our Creator.  Although the amazing work my body is doing on a constant basis right now is in complete harmony with God's purposes, the work I was doing with my brain was not.  Today, I felt the joy of living life in greater harmony with what God would have me do.  And, in spite of all that brought me joy today, that knowledge brings me the most joy of all.

Joy--Day 2

I'm tired. And evenings are the hardest time right now. In spite of that, I am happy. My joys tonight are:

Watching America's Funniest Videos with my family on my bed.

Listening to my husband bathing our children and prepping them for bed.

Snuggling with my 2 year old in his new soft fleece jammies.

Joy in the Journey

One of my favorite blogs that I've been following for a year or two now is that of my friend, Heidi.  Her Bartle Bulletin is such a fantastic snapshot of family life--the ups, the downs, the in-betweens.  I find strength and encouragement every time I read her blog.  So, I was not surprised when I read this morning that she has decided to join her friend, Jill, to seek Joy in the Journey for the month of October. And, having felt the need to seek joy in my own life recently, I have decided to join them.  I am so excited!  Although, I must admit, I am slightly wary of my ability to post EVERY DAY.  Some days, I'm sure it will only be a sentence or two.  But I am determined to seek joy for the next 31 days. 

Today, I'm going to post two...one now (for yesterday) and one later.  Probably as I'm waiting for my Unisom to kick in tonight.

My joy for yesterday is the knowledge that we have a living prophet on the earth and twelve apostles just like in the time of Jesus Christ.  My soul was filled as they spoke to me yesterday and I enjoyed the spirit that their words brought to my heart and my home. 

What are your joys?  Will you join me (us) in the journey? (I've added Jill's button to my blog--it's under my list of books.  Check it out!)