The Purpose of...Katy Perry?

Last week, on the last day of school, Kallie came home bubbling with a million different emotions. School was out, summer was in. Somehow, while we were talking about everything, Kallie said, "I love Katy Perry!" Cue me inwardly freaking out. OK--I may have outwardly freaked out a little too, because instead of being the rational, calm parent that I always am, (um...you can stop laughing now), I immediately launched into a lecture: "No. You don't like her. You don't even know what her music is about! She doesn't dress modestly and she does naughty things!" In spite of my immediate attempt to clean up that disaster by asking questions, Kallie clammed up.

In the moments that have followed that 3-minute experience, I have kicked myself repeatedly, (but gently), for what I consider a parenting FAIL. And I have given a lot of thought to the future of my darling daughter and my family. I feel like I've all of a sudden been dumped into a whole new realm of parenting that I wasn't prepared to enter for at least another 3-5 years. Maybe I'm being a little over-dramatic. But, as one who studied Family Science in college, I feel like I need to try to prepare myself a little more intensely for what is in my parenting future.

So, recently, I've been thinking a lot about how to improve my parenting. Especially as I have found myself, on many occasions, speaking to my kids with more volume and/or less kindness than I would prefer. I have been reminded of the power of scripture study and fervent prayer--how a daily choice to include both in my schedule serves as a balance and support as I move through my day.

Yesterday, while talking with a friend, I shared with her a phrase another friend shared during the Relief Society lesson on Father's Day. She said, "The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship." I vaguely remembered hearing some similar ideas, especially in the midst of my college classes, and I thought, "Yeah--I like that." But, after it tumbled around in my brain for the week, it popped back up at just the right time--and it really struck me. I want that to be my parenting focus for now.

(Image from www.beckyhiggins.com)

So, I have decided to print up several copies of this image and hang it all over my house so I (and my family) can see and remember that one of the purposes of life is to cultivate and strengthen good, healthy relationships. Most of all, I hope this phrase and image will serve as a visual reminder of the kind of parent that I want to be, especially as I look ahead to the teenage years.

I guess I'm kind of grateful for Katy Perry after all. (I NEVER thought I would say that!) The mention of her name alone has brought about a change for the better in my life and home and, I hope, in my family.

First Learn Lesson One

Last night for Family Home Evening, Ryan chose "Love at Home" for our opening song. Ryan and I often laugh when our kids complain, "Why do we have to sing that one AGAIN?," and then we answer "First learn Lesson One..." because we remember hearing something similar in a talk once. (Does anyone else remember that talk? Was that in Conference? I can't find it.)

Today, I was on my way home from grocery shopping with three kids. Tanner was crying and Whitney was trying to sing to him. She, interestingly enough, chose "Love at Home." Clayton, being a contrary 2 year old, was yelling at her to stop singing. It was then that I realized she couldn't remember the words and was singing, "There is joy in every sound..." over and over. I laughed at the irony.

But then I had to stop and think for a minute. Here I was, in a confined space and exhausted from grocery shopping at two stores with several kids, listening to a crying baby, a screaming toddler, and a singing 5 year old. I wondered if there really was joy in EVERY sound. And if the person who wrote that song was ever in a similar situation. Because if they had been, the lyrics might "There is joy in most sounds..."

Then I thought that I should find joy in every sound. It means that I HAVE kids. That they have the ability to talk and to listen. That they are developing their own little personalities. That I get to be home with them to hear these funny (although sometimes stressful) situations.

When I started thinking of how to find joy in those sounds, it really helped my deteriorating attitude to perk up a bit. Who knew that even I am still working on learning Lesson One?

Oh, Happy Day

Today has been a really great day.

We started it by taking our kids to participate in a ward service project on the grounds of the Seattle Temple. I'm not sure how much we really helped, especially since I spent a good chunk of time feeding Tanner in the car. But, more important than what we actually did was teaching our kids that's just what we do. I'm so glad we went.

Later in the day, as we were in between a few activities, one of our neighbors showed up, offering to give us a nice, barely used tricycle. Ryan has been her home teacher for a few months now, in spite of the fact that she hasn't attended church since we moved into the ward 2 years ago. Apparently, she's prepping for a garage sale and didn't want an "insulting" offer on the beautiful trike. She said she'd rather give it away to someone who she knew would enjoy it. Clayton has certainly already been enjoying it! He went out to ride it and didn't even want to come in for dinner tonight. I feel like it's such a perfect blessing right now, as I was just starting the process of finding a trike or Big Wheel for Clayton.

Finally, as you can see from the button in my sidebar, my inlaws are currently serving a mission. They were called to the Baltic Mission--which is where I served my mission! I was THRILLED because it meant we could go visit them AND I could finally show Ryan where I served. A few months in, they were reassigned to serve in the Bulgaria, Sofia mission. I was a little bummed, but looked forward to visiting them in yet another part of the world that I hadn't yet seen. Since then, Ryan and I have been talking about the trip we intended to take next summer and wondering if the trip would be worth the money, since Bulgaria really hasn't been on our bucket list. In addition, Carissa's roommate, Hillary, is living in Lithuania this summer. Since I'm reading Hil's blog on a near-daily basis, (and talking to her occasionally when she and Carissa skype), I have been feeling a little homesick for those places that are so close to my heart. So, in skyping with my inlaws tonight, we discussed the option of meeting them in the Baltics at the end of their mission and touring the area together. Of course, we would be going during a less-desirable, (read: colder), time of year--but I suppose in the grand scheme of things, that's really not going to matter. The thought that I may still get to go back to the Baltics makes me so happy!

For all of the craziness of today, (grumpy kids, almost being rear-ended, lots of errands), these few small events sure made it a great day!