Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Power to the Introvert

My second child, Whitney, didn't walk until she was 16 mos. old. She wasn't the tiniest thing--really was probably pretty average--and I was getting REALLY tired of carrying her EVERYWHERE. As a way to encourage her further mobility, I would set her down, on her feet, in the middle of our small family room floor. I figured when she was ready, she would take those 3-4 baby steps to the couch. But, without fail, she chose instead to carefully lower herself to the floor, keeping her balance the entire way down, and then crawl to the destination of her choice. I knew she could walk--she just wouldn't. I was really puzzled by her behavior. But, she finally DID walk--and once she did, she didn't stop. There wasn't any "3 steps here or there" situations...she was a full-on walker.

Fast forward to a few years later. At age 3, (plus a couple of months), I decided it was past time to potty train Whitney. Training pants, candy, and new character panties were purchased; charts were printed and we began the process. And nothing happened. And by that I mean that she just wouldn't do it. I knew that she had the ability--but again, she refused to keep her unders dry. So, I put her back in diapers. And then before too long, she had potty trained herself. There were no night time diapers, no pull-ups when we went to the grocery store, no "oh--you ALMOST made it!" accidents. She was completely potty trained.

Sometime between then and now, Ryan read a book called, "The Introvert Advantage." According to this book, introverts and extroverts have differing patterns and processes of thought. (I'm sure that's a "duh" statement--but the book explains that in greater detail.) Among other ideas, the book explained that extroverts are willing to try out something new and if it doesn't work out--oh well. While introverts won't even attempt a new experience until they are 100% certain that they can be successful. I have known since Whitney was very little that she is an introvert. She recharges her batteries by being alone and closing into her own little world. Suddenly, the light bulb went on. THAT is why she didn't walk until she could do it perfectly! THAT is why she didn't potty train until she was 100% dry! My world, and Whitney's, made a little more sense to me.

Fast forward again to the end of last school year. Whitney had started reading words she saw at the store, on TV, or in other random places. I pulled out our BOB book collections and started having her read to me. We would make it through one book...maybe two...and she'd be done for the day. And after a little while, she refused to read anymore. Again, I KNEW she could do it. She'd already read several books to me! And, she was still reading random words she saw. She would still "read" books--looking only at the pictures--but would absolutely not sound out any more words to me. I tried to encourage her in many different ways, to no avail. She refused. And I stopped bugging her about it.

Yesterday, she came to me and said, "Mom, I want to read the Rainbow Magic Fairy books." When I told her that she would need to read the words rather than the pictures, she agreed. She explained that her friend read those books and, "If Ame can do it, then so can I, Mom!" (Those books have been some of Kallie's favorites, too!) So, I promised Whitney that if she would read the rest of the BOB books we have, I would check out some Rainbow Magic Fairy books from the library for her. Today, Whitney sat down after school and read 8 BOB books to me. In a row. (That's half of the second collection!) After about 4 books, I asked if she was getting tired and wanted to be done. She said, "No way, Mom! I love reading!"

Watching and listening to her read today, I saw those little introvert tendencies popping out. She really doesn't prefer to sound out the words. She'd rather just read it in her head and then say the correct word the first time. But she's reading again. (As a side note, I mentioned this story to Ame's mom this morning. According to her, Ame is still in the very early stages of reading and doesn't really read the Rainbow Magic Fairy books yet. Her mom lets her take them to school to encourage her own reading skills. Shhh! Don't tell Whitney!)

I'm sure we'll encounter many other situations that will challenge Whitney's introvert personality. But, because of her track record, I'm completely convinced that if she's going to take it on, she'll definitely succeed 100%.