Joy: Day 16

If I am completely honest, I feel like I have been HORRIBLE at my calling for the last few months.  Right now, I am the Mia Maid advisor, which means I teach girls ages 14-15 during the last hour of church each Sunday.  I LOVE this calling--and I enjoy it immensely.  More recently, though, I have felt very diminished in my ability to give the girls the full depth of my care and concern.  It's not that I don't love them, because I do.  I get to work with some amazing Young Women!  It's just that I've been reduced to survival mode--and at that point, anything that doesn't HAVE to be done to survive just doesn't top my list of priorities.  But, as the layers of sickness have been diminishing, I find myself returning to...well, myself.  I feel like my mental and spiritual capacities are starting to resurface from beneath the haze of sickness and survival.  It does still depend on the day--but returning to my senses, one small degree at a time, makes me feel so happy!

Yesterday was a good day.  For the first time in a few months, I was able to attend a class presidency meeting and start to feel really connected with my girls (and my calling) again.  During church, I finally felt connected enough to act on some inspiration that has been pressing on the back of my mind for a few weeks now--and I hope that it will make a difference.  I feel that I was inspired as I planned my lesson in the morning and I continued to be inspired as I taught that afternoon.  (I've also been feeling very lacking in the inspiration area as well, so that was also a very good feeling.)  The girls even commented on what a great lesson it was!  I have felt like my teaching in the past few months has been status quo--nothing special.  So, it was great to feel that connection with my calling again. 

I guess what it all comes down to is that before being pregnant, I felt so much joy in my calling.  Yes, there are challenges and it can be frustrating sometimes.  But, I loved so much being where I was--and in the past few months, that joy just wasn't apparent.  Yesterday, thought, that joy was very apparent.  I know that we are blessed when we do our best to serve God in the ways He has asked us to.  And I know that those blessings bring joy to our lives as well as to the lives of those we serve.  I am so excited to be getting back to myself and, once again, be able to soak in the joy of service.