Joy: Day 3

This blog post has been running through my head all day, but now that I'm actually laying down to write it, (yes, I'm more laying than sitting at the moment while typing on the laptop in my bed), it's not congealing in my head like it did earlier.  Maybe that means I need to write earlier.  But then I'd miss out on the joy of the evenings.  And I can't do that.  So, I will just have to be content with a mediocre blog post.

Before this project started, I'd been thinking a lot about joy in my life--although I didn't realize I was doing it.  After a month of intense sickness and merely getting through each day, I was missing out on that spark that being joyful brings.  I was grateful.  OH, I had (still have) many reasons to be grateful.  But the daily joys were escaping my attention.  Since I've been feeling a bit better, my soul longed to again see the joy in every day living.

Sunday, as I was listening to General Conference, someone (I can't remember who at the moment) talked about how we use our time.  The longer he spoke, the more the Spirit spoke to me.  After several minutes, I grabbed my cell phone and uninstalled the "Solitaire" game that had occupied many mindless, joyless hours for me in the past month.  My rationale in playing the game was that I was too sick to really focus on anything else.  The game didn't matter, so it didn't really matter whether I won or lost.  And, after all, it was something to fill the LONG days of trying not to move if I didn't have to.  But I knew that it wasn't the best use of my time.  It wasn't bringing me any joy.

Over the past couple of weeks, since my health has improved enough that I feel more alive than dead, I still relied on the game.  I was gradually adding in other pursuits, but would often opt for the mindlessness of the game over something that would be more mind-consuming, and therefore leave me with a greater sense of fulfillment.

Today, (obviously), I didn't play the game at all.  Instead, I finished reading a book, which brought me closer to a personal goal I've set.  I snuggled with my son while watching Bob the Builder and Mighty Machines.  I made pumpkin bread.  I planned this blog post in my head. I thought about items I would like to create and projects I'd like to start. And, perhaps most importantly, I found a selection of articles on lds.org about joy, printed them, stapled them, and plan to read them over the next few weeks as I pursue joy.  All of these things today brought me joy. 

Tonight, as I was reading one of the articles, "Joy and Mercy," by Dallin H. Oaks, one of the sentences in the first paragraph stood out to me:

Joy is the ultimate sensation of well-being.

It comes from being complete and in harmony

with our Creator and his eternal laws.

And it struck me.  When I was playing the mindless game, I wasn't in harmony with our Creator.  Although the amazing work my body is doing on a constant basis right now is in complete harmony with God's purposes, the work I was doing with my brain was not.  Today, I felt the joy of living life in greater harmony with what God would have me do.  And, in spite of all that brought me joy today, that knowledge brings me the most joy of all.