If we ever wondered...

If we were ever in doubt as to whether Whitney is 110% girl, her antics yesterday removed all doubt. As a little background, Sunday, we were assigned to bring brownies to our family gathering. I wanted to try a couple of things, so I made S'mores brownies and some brownie cups with Oreos on top. When the time came to pack up the brownies, I couldn't budge the brownie cups from the mini-muffin tin. After prying one out with a butter knife, I determined I had overcooked them and they were all good and stuck. (The S'mores brownies, however, turned out AMAZING. I'll make those again!)

Fast forward to Monday: I was finally getting around to the mini muffin tin, still laden with baked in brownies. I decided the best course of action was to spray them with water until they were soft enough to remove. After I got all 23 out of the pan, I tossed the soggy chocolate mess in the garbage can. (They were so overcooked that they were still holding their form when soaking wet!)

A while later, I asked Whitney to throw something away. She returned and with much concern said, "There's chocolate in the trash!" She was devestated and close to tears upon discovering what she thought was perfectly good chocolate in the garbage can. Once I assured her that the chocolate was yucky and supposed to be in the trash, she calmed down a little. But, seriously, leave it up to a true girl to get emotional about garbage-bound chocolate!

Lab Results

I went in for my first non-stress test (NST) today and they told me that my bile salts are at normal levels and haven't changed since my last blood test in January. YAY! This means that, as of right now, I don't have cholestasis yet. I have never made it this far into a pregnancy without getting it. I'm not sure if it's because this is a boy...or if it's because my body is in better condition this time around...or if it's because I'm taking an herbal liver function supplement...but regardless of the why, I'm just happy to have made it this far without being toxic to my baby.

As for the NST--for those who don't know what that is, I'm strapped to a baby heartrate monitor and a contraction monitor for at least 20 minutes. The goal is to see the baby's heartrate accelerate a certain number of times within that 20 minute time period. Every time this little boy's heartbeat would accelerate, he would start moving, kicking, and rolling. It was hilarious! But, as expected, everything looked great and he's very healthy. Great news all the way around.

Oh--and I'm sure someone will wonder about this--I asked my Dr. if we would still deliver at 37 weeks even if I am never diagnosed with cholestasis. He said we would. I presume this is because the chances of cholestasis increase the further along I am in pregnancy. I think he'd rather have it scheduled ahead of time, instead of having to make a swift change of plans later on. I'm incredibly grateful for this for 2 reasons: 1) I know he's the Dr. who will do my c-sec, and 2) I don't know if I could make it to 40 weeks after delivering at 37 with both of my girls. I know--selfish--but I'm OK with this!

Pregnancy Update

I had an eventful appointment last week and thought I would share a few details with everyone. A week and a half ago, I had my glucose test--while they were drawing blood for that, they also took a few extra vials to test my bile salts and liver function. For those who are not aware, with both of my past pregnancies, I have been diagnosed with cholestasis of pregnancy at around 28 weeks. Cholestasis of pregnancy happens because the high amounts of estrogen in my body cause my liver ducts to swell. Because of the swelling, normal bile secretion is not possible, and the bile backs up into my bloodstream, which causes severe itching. Cholestasis can cause the baby to be stillborn in the last month of pregnancy.

At my appointment last week, I was told that I had passed my glucose test, but the liver-related blood work results weren't in yet. However, my Dr. decided to go ahead and move forward cautiously--which I am very grateful for. For the next 2 weeks, I have non-stress tests once a week. After that, I will go in twice a week--once for a non-stress test, once for an ultrasound--until August 14, which is when my c-section is scheduled. I will also have weekly blood work to keep track of the bile salts in my blood stream.

The good news is that, while I have certainly been itchy over the last few weeks, it seems less intense and less frequent than in the past. I don't know if I'm used to it now or if my levels just aren't as high as the last couple of times, but only time will tell. I'm just really grateful for a Dr. who is keeping on top of this--being proactive about it all, instead of reactive.

Baby and The Beast

One of my favorite things about being pregnant is laying in bed in the morning, cuddled up next to my giant, furry body pillow (aptly named "The Beast") and feeling the baby kick and squirm. First of all, it brings me comfort because I know he's still alive in there. Secondly, feeling the baby move is my absolute favorite part of being pregnant. There's something so bonding about being the only one who knows what your baby is doing at any given time--just you and your baby are sharing it together.

Earlier today, I was sitting in the office while Ryan was reinstalling everything on my computer. (My computer got sick yesterday...) As things were downloading, he started poking my belly--playing with the baby in a way. When he had finished poking it all over, the baby all of a sudden started poking back with the same frequency and intensity which his dad had used. I wanted to keep watching my belly undulate, but I couldn't help laughing at the tiny antics.

Even as I write this post, this little one is karate chopping my insides. And, I love it. None of my kids have kicked with this same strength and instensity. While the bladder kicks are my least favorite, I just love feeling every little move he makes. I know I'll miss it when he arrives in a little less than 8 weeks.

My (Not Very) Guilty Pleasure

About 2 years ago, when I found out I was allergic to prolactin, my nutritionist told me that I would have to avoid milk until the allergy was resolved. I tried my best--substituting rice milk and avoiding ice cream and cheese. I occasionally indulged in dairy goodness, but knowing what it was doing to my body made it easier to avoid. As things started to improve, my nutritionist reminded me that when I got pregnant, I would have to completely avoid all dairy products in order to completely avoid excess prolactin. Well, here I am, two years later, very pregnant. In the middle of the summer--smack dab in the middle of ice cream season. This pregnancy has come with all sorts of cravings, including cold cereal and pizza. Anyone else notice you can't have those 2 things without dairy? Right. I have indulged far too often and certainly felt the effects.

Finally, last week, I was dying for ice cream. I walked up and down the freezer section trying to find a reasonable non-dairy substitute for cold, creamy heaven. The fruit bars caught my eye...but didn't sound too appetizing. I found some "Rice Dream" ice cream, but I know how rice milk tastes and knew it wasn't going to hit the spot. Finally, I found the sorbet section. I was afraid it would end up tasting like a glorified popsicle, icy and watery, without much cream to it. But, having never tasted sorbet, I figured it was worth a go. I scanned the ingredients--no dairy--and put some Haagen-Daaz Orchard Peach sorbet into the cart.

As soon as I got home, I pulled it out for a sample. Where has this been all my life? It was heavenly! Seriously, who needs ice cream when you can have sorbet? It took me an entire week to eat my little half-pint and I plan to get another today. And, because it's lower in calories than ice cream and non-dairy, I don't feel one bit guilty!

Mom, I have something to tell you...

Kallie, who is supposed to be in bed, but had been in the bathroom for a few minutes, just came in to the office. She had a very concerned look on her face. She said, "Mom, I have something to tell you." I figured she had an accident or remembered something from earlier in the day that couldn't wait until morning. Instead, she pointed to the side of her nose and said, "I have a sticker right there and I can't get it out," and then the tears of panic started forming in her eyes. Knowing that sniffles would probably only suck the sticker in deeper, I quietly urged her to please calm down and asked how the sticker got into her nose. She admitted that she put it there herself and planned to blow it out. Pointing to her nose again, she repeated, "It's right there and I can't get it out!" In my mind, I saw the sticker closer to the bridge of her nose than the nostril and thought that I might just have to retrieve the tweezers. When she tipped her head back, I was surprised to see the sticker at the very front of her little nose. I reached in with my fingernail and slid it right out. No tweezers, no kleenex, and no requests to "Blow!" It was so much simpler than she thought. She gingerly grabbed the tiny, (now damp), sticker and walked out of the office--commenting to herself how gross it was. Gross enough that I hope she remembers next time she wants to shove something up her nose.

As she left, a thought occurred to me: How often do I get myself in a sticky situation (no pun intended) and I think I can take care of it on my own? Like Kallie, I try to remedy the situation without help--to no avail. In the process, I start feeling panic and realize that I can't handle it alone. When I finally ask for help, the solution is generally accomplished through small and simple means. If only I would get over my fears and ask for help sooner, I could save myself loads of grief and stress. Hopefully, I'll also remember this little lesson next time something sticky happens in my own life.

Whitney's Favorite Primary Song

I have several different posts floating around, but not much time to pin them down. So, today, I'll do the shortest one...

Every time we ask Whitney what song she'd like to sing for Family Home Evening, she requests, "I Love to See the Temple." (I think this was also one of Kallie's favorites at this same age.) I'm not sure whether she particularly loves it, or she just knows it really well--but we sing it pretty much every other week. It's also a frequent occurrence that she randomly sings this song while playing. The other day, while we were cleaning the girls' bedroom, Whitney started singing, so I joined in with her. When we got to the last line, "it is my sacred duty," I thought Whitney sang something else. I asked her to sing the song again and listened a little closer. Sure enough, she wasn't singing the correct words. She doesn't make the same mistake most kids make with this particular song and sing "secret duty" instead. No, Whitney made up words all her own..."it is my shake-a-booty." Yep--never thought you'd hear the word "booty" in a song about the temple, huh? For now, I request that song from her quite often and I don't bother correcting her own little version!

The Beginning

Six years ago, I returned home from my mission to the Baltic States. (Has it really been that long?) Since I had graduated from college before I left on my mission and my parents moved while I was gone, I came home to a whole lot of...nothing. No job, no friends, and no plans--except to get a job and find some friends. The benefit to coming home to nothing is that the world is, at that moment, full of hope and possibilities.

Being used to mission life, I dug in and got going. I started attending the singles' ward in my new stake and began to make many friends. In fact, Elizabeth, (my former mission companion), and I started attending every possible ward activity. As is typical with most wards, there was a core group of kids that also attended every possible activity--and we started getting to know them all better. Within 3 months after returning home, I started dating someone. The relationship had a LOT of ups and downs and it felt like life just shouldn't be that complicated. Between this relationship and my job hunt, the ups and downs were becoming quite exhausting. And then November rolled around.

To celebrate the two year anniversary of the beginning of my mission, the guy I had been dating broke up with me. One week later, one of the guys from that core group of kids called to see if I wanted to get a group together to go shooting, like we had recently talked about doing at one of the many ward activities. This particular young man was one who had caught my interest a few times over the previous weeks, so I was more than happy to go. It was my job to get a group together. But, knowing that I wanted to get to know this young man better, I called one person, (whom I knew couldn't go), invited my younger brother, and decided that was enough. When we went on the shooting excursion a few days later, I made sure that this young man knew I was currently available.

A few days later, the core group got together to head to the desert and watch a meteor shower in the middle of the night. It turned out that this young man and I were both underprepared for the cold temperatures--but somehow ended up on a big, thick foam pad under a nice warm blanket. As we watched for shooting stars, we talked. And talked. And talked. I had such a great time talking to him that night. I hoped he did too.

It soon became obvious that he also enjoyed talking with me, as he called me up the very next day to ask me out for that weekend. As luck would have it, I woke up the day before our date deathly ill. I spent the entire day in bed, resting up, and hoping it was a 24-hour bug. By that evening, I wasn't feeling much better. Out of all of the dates I'd been on in my life, this was one that I wanted to go on more than almost anything in the world. I HAD to be well enough to go the next night. So, I asked my dad for a blessing. (Little did I know at the time that this young man was also deathly ill and also requested a blessing in order to go on the date.) By Friday night, armed with our determination and DayQuil, this young man and I went on our first date.

Two weeks later, we were officially a couple. A few days later, chatting by the glow of Christmas tree lights, we talked about our future together. I was scared to death to admit that this was it, although I knew in my heart that my single life was quickly drawing to a close. I remember telling this young man that I knew we had a future together, I just wasn't sure what that meant. When he went home to Seattle for Christmas break, we talked daily. I had never wanted to be with someone so much in my life. One night, we talked until the wee hours of the morning. That night, he told me he was never going home again without me. That was also the night we decided what our future together meant to both of us: marriage. I remember the "Oh my goodness--this is IT" feeling I had when I told my mom the next day that I was getting married.

The day after he came back from Seattle, we went ring shopping. Three weeks later, he proposed to me in the Salt Lake temple. Four months after that, and six months and one day after our first date, we were married in the Mt. Timpanogos temple. That was 5 years ago.

When I married Ryan, I knew I was getting a good guy. After all, up to that point, without any prompting, hinting, or requesting from me, he had done all of the things that I had always wanted a boy to do for me. But, the past five years have shown me how incredibly lucky I am. He does everything in his power to make sure that I am happy and well cared for. On top of all of that, he is truly my best friend. I honestly don't know how I got a guy who is so perfect for me! I look forward to the rest of forever with him! Happy Anniversary, Ryan!

DONE!!! DONE!!! DONE!!!

Do you think I could be any more excited? Today, Ryan defended his thesis, got the paperwork signed, is in the process of binding his thesis--and HE'S DONE WITH SCHOOL! DONE! I can't say it has been particularly difficult, because he takes such great care of our family. But, I can say it's been a while. When we got married, we weren't planning on this road--but I am absolutely thrilled that this is the road we've taken. Ryan has been able to accomplish so much and has learned so much in the process. I'm just so glad it's over now! On to "normal" life...whatever that is.

The Value of Reading and Listening

Several weeks ago, when I was first coming out of my first trimester fog, I saw everything that I had missed for the 3 previous months and started feeling very overwhelmed. My house was not organized, my kids were running wild, and my personal growth even felt like it was on hold for that period of time. It all settled back on my shoulders at once and I knew things had to change. With a new living space, a new family routine, and growing children, I was at a loss as to what I should do next. Usually in these situations, I turn to the internet--with its wealth of information--for ideas and education. This time, however, I remembered a conversation I had with my mom a while back. She explained that, as a parent, she didn't have all of the resources that I have today. There was no information conveniently at her fingertips, so she often turned to the greatest source of knowledge she knows--prayer. I decided that instead of looking first and then asking later, I would turn the situation around and ask first, then look later.

I prayed for guidance and inspiration, then read my scriptures. A flood of ideas washed over me. Do this, organize this way, try this...I made a list of several items that I needed to accomplish and how it could be done. The blessing of this method was that I immediately felt much less overwhelmed with the challenges before me. The drawback was now that I had written them all down, I wasn't as concerned as I had been before. Within a week or so, I was sick again--and none of the items on my list had been accomplished. Another week or two later, I found myself once again frustrated by the exact same issues I had prayed about and received solutions for earlier.

This time, I turned to my inspired list and determined to make progress, since my health and energy had finally returned for real. I started with the issue that was most frustrating for me at the time--which was Kallie's potty training regression. While I had received guidance on what needed to happen, (making a potty chart), I wasn't quite sure what the specifics should be. I knew she didn't need 3 m&m's with each potty success, as we had done at the very beginning, and I knew that she needed support that was more immediate--but should she get a reward daily? Weekly? etc. Armed with the knowledge of what the overall goal was, I turned to the wealth of information in cyberspace.

Within a few taps on the keyboard and a few clicks of the mouse, I discovered one parent's story that I felt would work for my child. Feeling inspired once again, I made a simple chart with four squares on each row. If Kallie kept her panties clean and pooped in the potty each day, she would get a sticker before bedtime. Once the row of four squares was filled, she would earn a reward.

I am absolutely amazed by the change this chart has brought about for me and my daughter. From the moment I showed her the chart, I have been able to completely turn her potty issues over to her, (something I have had a challenge doing). I no longer require her to use the bathroom when she needs to go, because I know that if she wants her reward, she'll go. I do remind her that she gets a sticker for staying clean and dry, but whether or not she earns her sticker is completely up to her. The first four stickers took a little over a week to earn, the second set took a day or two less, and she's already half way through her third set. (A pair of "Hello Kitty" panties are apparently a better motivator than even strawberry ice cream!) I haven't had to clean dirty panties in a couple of weeks now and we're all very pleased with how this is working for Kallie.

What's amazing to me is that in the month between receiving the inspiration and actually doing what I was inspired to do, I was still getting SO frustrated by these issues. All it took was a few minutes of my time to just do what I knew I should--and the change has been honestly miraculous. I am grateful for an eternally patient Heavenly Father who still blesses me--even though it sometimes takes a while for me to actually get it. Now, I look forward to accomplishing the other 20 things on the list because I know the change will be just as great.