Joy: Day 10

It's hard to believe I'm already a third into this little Joy project!  I am enjoying it immensely.  Yesterday we were watching Mormon Messages after dinner (while waiting for America's Funniest Videos to come on) and one of them featured President Eyring's talk on gratitude.  He talked about keeping a daily journal of the ways he saw the hand of the Lord in his life that day.  It made me think about this study of joy that I have undertaken.  I wanted to say a "search" for joy--but really, I haven't had to do a whole lot of searching.  The joy is there.  I have seen it in my life.  But, now I'm pondering it and recording it, which makes it more meaningful in many ways for me.

Tonight I felt joy listening to my 4 (getting close to 5) year old give the lesson for Family Home Evening.  She related a story from The Friend.  I was quite impressed that she remembered the details of the story, (from the shine on the apples, to the lights on the porch coming on), after only hearing it once.  If any of my children end up being a writer, I think she'd be the one to do it.  She is endlessly imaginative, and holds on to pieces of stories, (or entire stories, apparently), for quite a long time.

I felt it again when my normally fussing-at-bedtime son ran into my room (where I was laying in bed) and turned his little face up to me with pursed lips.  "Kisses?," I asked, and he grunted an assent.  After kisses, he immediately turned and happily ran to his room so daddy could sing and rock him to sleep.  I love listening to my husband sing to our children.  I don't know that he pictured himself doing that as a dad.  But, he does it because he loves our children.

And, this morning, I felt joy in knowing and understanding the precious Plan of Salvation.  I learned that a friend's son passed away yesterday.  He has been a little fighter since he was born prematurely almost a year and a half ago.  He spent his entire life in the hospital--doctors never really seeming to know exactly what was wrong or how to fix it.  He embodied many miracles during his short stay on the earth.  His passing has allowed me to think, again, of the blessing of knowing where he is now--that he is in the presence of his loving Heavenly Father.  And because of beautiful temple covenants, he forever belongs to his parents.  What joy in knowing that families are forever!

Joy: Day 9

This morning, I had a few quiet moments, (while my husband bathed my kids--I know.  He's AMAZING like that!), so I delved into "Daughters in My Kingdom," the new book about the history of the Relief Society.  One of the paragraphs really caught my attention:

Elder James E. Talmage of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, "The world's greatest champion of woman and womanhood is Jesus the Christ."

The Savior taught women in multitudes and as individuals, on the street and by the seashore, at the well and in their homes.  He showed loving-kindness toward them and healed them and their family members.  In many parables, He told stories of women engaged in ordinary activities.  He demonstrated deep familiarity with women's lives and drew timeless gospel lessons from their everyday experiences.  He forgave them. He wept with them.  He had compassion on them in their specific circumstances as daughters, wives, homemakers, mothers, and widows.  He appreciated them and ennobled them.

(Daughters in My Kingdom, p. 3)

This has long been a principle from the Savior's life that I have cherished.  But reading it in this context and during this season of my life gave me a different perspective.  I find joy in the Savior's treatment and reverence of women.  And I find joy in my own womanhood.  I know that as I combine the two, Jesus Christ will still do for me and for my family what He did when He was on the earth.  He will teach me--wherever I am with an open heart.  He will heal me and my family members.  He offers me precious forgiveness and has compassion on me as I fall short in so many ways.

I find joy in priesthood leaders who also reverence and respect women.  What a beautiful life we create when we, as women, bring our strengths, gifts, and abilities together with the strengths and talents of righteous men.  By such means, we create much good in the world.  I joy in the opportunity to share my womanhood in my home--to join with my husband and together create a home filled with love and harmony.  There is truly no greater joy to me than being a faithful and respected woman.

Joy: Day 8

Today was a very slow day at our house. Usually my husband is running around doing a million and one things on a Saturday. But after finishing his 20 mile training run this morning, he took it a little easier than normal. My joys for today are:
I made it through the day without Zofran! This is huge, as that has not happened in about 7 weeks.
Spending time with my husband, which doesn't usually happen on a Saturday.
Being surprised with crisscut fries (my current crave) and eating the BEST burger I've had in a while. All courtesy of my husband, who, in his own words, spoils me!

Joy: Day 7

This morning, Clayton and I got to join Whitney's preschool class at a local farm/pumpkin patch.  I don't have any pics, as it was raining, and I figured chasing 2 kids around such a venue in such weather would make the camera more of a piece of luggage than a benefit.

We started in the corn box.  I've played in corn boxes before...they were small and about 6 inches deep.  This corn box was at least twice as big as the ball pits that used to be in the McDonald's playlands.  And, when I stepped in, I found myself in corn up to my knees!  I wouldn't have had the opportunity to find out the depth, except Clayton found himself stranded in the middle of the box--NOT enjoying the feel of feed corn on his stocking feet.  Instead, we sat on the hay bales and watched Whitney and her friends enjoy the box.  We also watched another little boy (age 3) have a puddle jumping contest with his mom (age 30-something)...I think he ended up making bigger splashes than she did!

After the corn box, we headed over to the animal pens.  We saw 3 month old calves, a miniature donkey, 2 piglets, a couple of goats, and a bunny rabbit or two.  Whitney was in the middle of the action and Clayton held back, not sure of the sudden moves the animals would make.  He was very concerned when the snorting piglets started putting their front legs up on the fence. 

When we walked into the hay barn, Clayton freaked out a little, thinking we were headed back into a corn box.  During the first few activities, he saw a couple of tractors and kept begging to ride the tractors.  He was severely disappointed when we left the bike track stocked with John Deere tricycles much to big for him to ride.  He cried all the way through the hay maze...and was finally placated when we went to the pumpkin patch.  Whitney jumped from bale to bale with her friends, and I hardly saw her in the hay maze!  (It wasn't much of a maze...mostly a hay loft on the ground with a few tubes to crawl through.)

Clayton and Whitney selected nearly identical pumpkins...small with a long curved-ish stem.  From that moment on, Clayton insisted on carrying his own pumpkin--in a grocery bag on his tiny arm.  But, the ultimate activity of the day for Clayton happened when we went on a hay ride!  We sat near the front, just so Clayton could see the tractor pulling us.  He was happy as a little clam when we climbed on the wagon and from the time we got off, he kept mentioning going on the tractor. 

We ended the day by playing in the Kiddie Korral for a while.  Whitney was off like the little social butterfly that she is...and Clayton immediately gravitated to the tractors in the sandbox.  After a few minutes there, we went up to the bubble wand table and Clayton tried his hand at making huge bubbles.  He wasn't very successful, but he was sure having fun trying!  I had to laugh at these Washington kids.  They'd been walking through the misty rain all morning--but once we got to the Korral, they all ended up playing with the bubbles and the water pumps.  I guess they were already wet, so it didn't really matter anyway.  When it was time to go, I had to call Whitney about 15 times--she was still at the water table.

We had a great time.  And, in spite of Clayton's pumpkin losing its stem in a tragic accident during the drive home, Clayton is still carrying it around the house.

There were so many joys in my day today.  While I didn't joy in Clayton's discomfort with the corn box, I DO joy in watching my children try new things--new textures, new situations, new experiences--and I joy in seeing their reactions.  Experiencing life is part of why we're here!  I found joy in Clayton's fascination with tractors.  He was SO thrilled to finally get to ride on that tractor!  He's at an age when so much of life is new and exciting. It makes me happy to see his joy in life.  And, I found joy in watching Whitney in her independent element--playing with her friends and enjoying her experience at the farm.  I honestly didn't see much of her while we were there because she was so busy having fun!

Joy: Day 6

Thank God for the joys of family life. 

I have often said there can be no genuine happiness

separate and apart from a good home.  The sweetest influences

and associations of life are there.  Life cannot be fully successful,

no matter what goals we attain in the material world,

no matter what honors of men come to us in our lives,

if we fail as fathers, mothers, and children.

--Ezra Taft Benson

Growing up, I wouldn't have considered my family especially close.  Sure, my brothers and sisters and I learned to co-exist together, but it often seemed there were as many arguments and frustrations as there were quiet and/or enjoyable times.  However, now that I can look back on those years--and now that I see where we have ended up--I would have to say that my family is pretty close.  When we get together and hang out now, we (mostly) enjoy each others' company.  Sure we still have moments, few and far between, of power struggles and other disruptions.  But, overall, we enjoy spending time with each other and quite often talk, text, facebook, or e-mail one another.  We all know what's happening in our siblings' lives and find joy in encouraging, helping, and just talking with each other.

Today, I had the opportunity to text with my mom about a party we're going to throw for one of my siblings in December.  Recently, my older brother successfully defended his dissertation and, therefore, will graduate with his PhD in December.  After 6 1/2 LONG years of moving their family every summer for his studies, not to mention late nights, grant proposal writing, etc., he and his wife (and their 4.5 children) certainly deserve a celebration!  And, I can't help but share in their joy.  Over the years of his hard work, we have prayed, fasted, encouraged, cheered, and tried to do what we could to help them reach this point.  Just this past summer, while he was interviewing for a very-good-for-him-and-his-family position, we fasted and prayed for him and his family.  He got the job, which brought his family within a 12 hour drive of us--where it had been a 3-4 day drive before.  Talk about joy!  When you invest your heart in something like that, how can you not feel joy in his success? Thus, being able to FINALLY plan this party brings me a lot of joy!  Not to mention, it's a lot of fun to come up with a bunch of ideas to be sifted over and finally (eventually) presented in a fabulous event!

Another joy I have been experiencing lately is that of helping my inlaws prepare for their mission.  In a little less than a month, they will enter the MTC--on my 10 year MTC-entrance anniversary--and after a week or two will head out to the Baltic Mission, which is the same mission I served in!  They get to serve in my favorite city!  Over the past few weeks, I have been helping with Russian lessons, sharing (over and over) memories of the city, and shopping with my mother-in-law for her missionary wardrobe.  The joy I have felt in sharing in their preparations has been amazing! 

As part of sending my inlaws off, I have wanted to prepare a Lavtian dinner for them before they left.  A few months ago, I searched online for recipes and began to prepare the menu.  I bookmarked a few recipes, but managed not to bookmark one of them.  This past Sunday, I was reviewing the menu and realized I couldn't find that ONE chicken dish I planned to make.  I remembered a bit of what was in it, but no internet search could pull up the ONE recipe I had my heart set on.  Having been touched by Devn Cornish's conference talk on prayer and his story of the quarter for chicken, I asked for help in finding that ONE recipe.  Yeah--it wasn't very important and I could always make something else.  But, for some reason, that recipe was important to me.

Today, that prayer was answered.  By looking on a site I'd seen 1000 times in my previous searches, I clicked on one recipe that I was sure wasn't it--but then it was.  It brought me joy to have such a simple, insignificant prayer answered.  Knowing that no matter how small I am, how small my request is, Heavenly Father is aware of me brings me joy.  I am so excited to share this dish with my inlaws and have found joy (once again) in planning their send-off dinner!



Joy: Day 5 (Or By The Minute)

Don't worry...I'm not going to detail EVERY minute of my joy today.  I have a tendency to forget some of the things I've felt joyful about during my day--so today, as I felt joy, I kept a list of the time and the happening on my phone.  Here it is:

7:18 Dippy eggs with white toast.  (Which is about the ONLY thing my tummy can handle for breakfast these days!)
8:30 Played the "Bus Time Game" with Kallie.  We both estimate the minute the bus will arrive.  Closest person wins.
8:36 Kallie won the game for the first time EVER with a guess of 8:37.
8:52 Whitney said, "Zat fweaked me out," when I accidentally bumped the "PANIC" button on my car key fob.
8:57 Listened to Clayon name animals I didn't know he knew.  (These third kids seem to slide things past you like that...)
9:01 Clayton asked me to comb his hair and put a barrette in.  I brushed it and then explained that boys don't wear barrettes.
9:04 Felt a tiny hand wrap itself around my arm and give me pats.
9:57 Snagged an amazingly close parking spot at Wal-Mart.
10:33 Listened to Clayton clapping and chair dancing in the back seat of the car while listening to the Tangled soundtrack.
10:45 Target popcorn!
10:59 Found 2 shirts for the girls' Halloween costumes.  The pants will be easy to make...right?
11:20 Ran into 3 friends at Target.
12:02 Sipped Gala apple cider, which I've been craving for a few days now.
12:09 Whitney made PB&Js for lunch today. She loves the independence and I love that I don't have to do it!
1:03 Clayton dances frequently to any upbeat music playing...be it from a commercial, kids' show, or battery-operated toy.  This was one of those moments.
1:31 Clayton down for a nap.
1:56 Finished reading THREE chapters to Whitney, who insisted that she was much too tired for storytime today.  The third chapter was also at her insistence.
2:00 Naptime for mommy.
4:26 Listened to my kids play nicely together.
4:45 Listened to my oldest practice together.
5:06 I climbed into bed. PBS brings me joy at moments like this because it enthralls my children while I'm out of commission.

Joy: Day 4

As I climbed into bed tonight, I realized that my bed brings me great joy.  The joy of knowing that I've made it through another day.  Sometimes, I climb in earlier in the day...a few times.  That fact brings me joy, too.  Because it means I got OUT of bed in the first place.  Or that my children are napping.  I don't know that my bed has ever been so soothing, so welcoming, and so comforting at any point in my life.  But for now it is.  And I'm going to enjoy it.

I found joy in a few other things that happened today:

I introduced my daughters to one of my favorite movies: "Ever After: A Cinderella Story."  At first, they complained that it was a GROWN UP movie, and they had wanted to watch a KIDS movie.  But, by the end, they were both hooked.  It brought me joy to pass on something that I enjoy so much to my girls.  Related to this, the soundtrack to that movie is joyful for me.  Just hearing the opening strains of music was like feeling a fresh, gentle breeze in my mind--it brought back so many wonderful memories.  It was wonderful to have a reminder of how much I love that music...how it expands my soul.

Earlier today, I made a foray to the craft store for the first time since I've been pregnant.  I went in search of one particular item in one particular color and texture.  And, on my second look, I found it!  This was a source of joy because I've been imagining using this item to create something--and look forward to passing it on to someone else when that something is finished. 

That brings me to my next source of joy.  With the acquisition of the materials, today I started one of the projects I've been thinking about for a while now.  As I began my creation, my daughter asked if I would teach her how to make something similar.  (I realize I'm being cryptic here...it's out of necessity!)  It reminded me of the days when I was young and my mom taught me to create in so many different ways.  That ability to create brings me joy.  And I hope to pass that on to my children.

And speaking of passing things on to our children, I am hoping to pass on the joy I find in reading to my children.  Now that my oldest child is finally old enough to read chapter books, I find myself getting into discussions with her about what she's reading, what she's going to read next, and what I recommend she read.  My middle child and I have reading time every day at nap time--I just love reading with her, sharing fun books I've recently discovered, and laughing or gasping together as we experience the story simultaneously.  It also thrills me every time my youngest brings me books and asks me to read to him.  Knowing that I'm passing on a love of books and reading to my kids brings me joy.

Joy: Day 3

This blog post has been running through my head all day, but now that I'm actually laying down to write it, (yes, I'm more laying than sitting at the moment while typing on the laptop in my bed), it's not congealing in my head like it did earlier.  Maybe that means I need to write earlier.  But then I'd miss out on the joy of the evenings.  And I can't do that.  So, I will just have to be content with a mediocre blog post.

Before this project started, I'd been thinking a lot about joy in my life--although I didn't realize I was doing it.  After a month of intense sickness and merely getting through each day, I was missing out on that spark that being joyful brings.  I was grateful.  OH, I had (still have) many reasons to be grateful.  But the daily joys were escaping my attention.  Since I've been feeling a bit better, my soul longed to again see the joy in every day living.

Sunday, as I was listening to General Conference, someone (I can't remember who at the moment) talked about how we use our time.  The longer he spoke, the more the Spirit spoke to me.  After several minutes, I grabbed my cell phone and uninstalled the "Solitaire" game that had occupied many mindless, joyless hours for me in the past month.  My rationale in playing the game was that I was too sick to really focus on anything else.  The game didn't matter, so it didn't really matter whether I won or lost.  And, after all, it was something to fill the LONG days of trying not to move if I didn't have to.  But I knew that it wasn't the best use of my time.  It wasn't bringing me any joy.

Over the past couple of weeks, since my health has improved enough that I feel more alive than dead, I still relied on the game.  I was gradually adding in other pursuits, but would often opt for the mindlessness of the game over something that would be more mind-consuming, and therefore leave me with a greater sense of fulfillment.

Today, (obviously), I didn't play the game at all.  Instead, I finished reading a book, which brought me closer to a personal goal I've set.  I snuggled with my son while watching Bob the Builder and Mighty Machines.  I made pumpkin bread.  I planned this blog post in my head. I thought about items I would like to create and projects I'd like to start. And, perhaps most importantly, I found a selection of articles on lds.org about joy, printed them, stapled them, and plan to read them over the next few weeks as I pursue joy.  All of these things today brought me joy. 

Tonight, as I was reading one of the articles, "Joy and Mercy," by Dallin H. Oaks, one of the sentences in the first paragraph stood out to me:

Joy is the ultimate sensation of well-being.

It comes from being complete and in harmony

with our Creator and his eternal laws.

And it struck me.  When I was playing the mindless game, I wasn't in harmony with our Creator.  Although the amazing work my body is doing on a constant basis right now is in complete harmony with God's purposes, the work I was doing with my brain was not.  Today, I felt the joy of living life in greater harmony with what God would have me do.  And, in spite of all that brought me joy today, that knowledge brings me the most joy of all.

Joy--Day 2

I'm tired. And evenings are the hardest time right now. In spite of that, I am happy. My joys tonight are:

Watching America's Funniest Videos with my family on my bed.

Listening to my husband bathing our children and prepping them for bed.

Snuggling with my 2 year old in his new soft fleece jammies.

Joy in the Journey

One of my favorite blogs that I've been following for a year or two now is that of my friend, Heidi.  Her Bartle Bulletin is such a fantastic snapshot of family life--the ups, the downs, the in-betweens.  I find strength and encouragement every time I read her blog.  So, I was not surprised when I read this morning that she has decided to join her friend, Jill, to seek Joy in the Journey for the month of October. And, having felt the need to seek joy in my own life recently, I have decided to join them.  I am so excited!  Although, I must admit, I am slightly wary of my ability to post EVERY DAY.  Some days, I'm sure it will only be a sentence or two.  But I am determined to seek joy for the next 31 days. 

Today, I'm going to post two...one now (for yesterday) and one later.  Probably as I'm waiting for my Unisom to kick in tonight.

My joy for yesterday is the knowledge that we have a living prophet on the earth and twelve apostles just like in the time of Jesus Christ.  My soul was filled as they spoke to me yesterday and I enjoyed the spirit that their words brought to my heart and my home. 

What are your joys?  Will you join me (us) in the journey? (I've added Jill's button to my blog--it's under my list of books.  Check it out!)