Courtesy of Love and Logic

Many of you know that I try (some days harder than others) to implement Love and Logic principles in my parenting style. Just as we have to study and learn most topics little by little, so it is with Love and Logic. Having a successful experience bolsters my confidence--although these experiences are usually the result of praying for creativity and the ability to keep a cool head in the heat of the moment. Here are some examples of what I consider successful experiences:

Whitney is my girly girl and likes to get into my makeup drawer. Most of my makeup is purchased from the aisles of a big box store. Nothing too expensive. And, when she gets into it, she usually smears some on her face and is done. Recently, she got into my loose powder. It ended up in piles on the floor and counters and some spilled down the white cupboard doors. To me, the logical consequence was that she needed to clean up the mess. So, we brought in the vacuum, put on the attachment and let her take care of it. One of the principles of L&L is "build the self concept." By having Whitney clean up her own mess, she knew she could be responsible. She knew she could control the vacuum and she was very pleased with her accomplishments in the end. I, on the other hand, was also proud of her. She took responsibility for her mess and I didn't have to clean it up.

The other L&L success story involves Kallie. Over the past week or so, Kallie has reverted to hitting, instead of using her words. This creates a whole chain reaction of crying, coming to tell mom, having to hear both sides of the story (which takes a LONG time), instructing to hug and be friends again, and then going back to play--and then repeating this process several times a day. Obviously my method wasn't working because nothing was changing. I don't expect immediate results, but I do expect that over 2-3 days the behavior will change. It didn't. So, I changed my method. After one such drawn out episode last Thursday, I told Kallie in a very sweet voice that girls who don't use their hands properly won't get to use their hands--and that I would tie her hands together if she hit again. She and I laughed about it and then we moved on with our day. Well, Friday morning, sure enough, she decided to hit again. I had long forgotten what I had said the day before, but I used my typical question: What happens when we hit, Kallie? And, she dutifully reminded me, "I'm going to get my hands tied together." Yes. That's right. (Thanks for reminding me...) I pulled out an old nylon and cut off the top and the toe. Then I said, "Do you want your hands in front or in back." She chose front, so I loosely bound her hands together and then said, "OK--go play!" She complained that she couldn't use her hands, which really was the point of all of this. After a little while, we took the nylon off her hands (it was loose enough that she could have taken it off at any point--she just chose to leave it on) and we had a little talk about how not having the freedom to use our hands is not fun. It must have left an impression because she hasn't done it again. I figure there will be a time she will forget and I will remind her about losing her freedom--which, knowing Kallie, will be enough to keep her from hitting again.