Blowing Kisses

Quite a while back, I started a naptime tradition with Kallie.  It began back in the day when I had to stay in their room and wait for Whitney to fall asleep.  (Otherwise, she would get out of bed and/or talk to Kallie, keeping both of them awake.)  After Whitney fell asleep, I would quietly sneak out of the room and shut the door.  Usually, Kallie wasn't quite asleep and would pop her little head up to say good-bye.  Instead of talking, I started blowing kisses at her.  And she, being a little sponge, decided if mom did it, she should too.  So, after a while, she started blowing kisses back.  To be silly one day, as she blew kisses on my way out, I "caught" them in my hand and pressed them to my cheek.  Kallie eventually followed.  Then, one day, Kallie decided to be silly.  Instead of catching them in her hand, she opened her mouth and caught the kisses.  She caught so many that it made her cheeks puff out!  I love this little routine we've got going.  Now, to come up with another surprising way to catch kisses...so I can catch Kallie off guard!

Courtesy of Love and Logic

Many of you know that I try (some days harder than others) to implement Love and Logic principles in my parenting style. Just as we have to study and learn most topics little by little, so it is with Love and Logic. Having a successful experience bolsters my confidence--although these experiences are usually the result of praying for creativity and the ability to keep a cool head in the heat of the moment. Here are some examples of what I consider successful experiences:

Whitney is my girly girl and likes to get into my makeup drawer. Most of my makeup is purchased from the aisles of a big box store. Nothing too expensive. And, when she gets into it, she usually smears some on her face and is done. Recently, she got into my loose powder. It ended up in piles on the floor and counters and some spilled down the white cupboard doors. To me, the logical consequence was that she needed to clean up the mess. So, we brought in the vacuum, put on the attachment and let her take care of it. One of the principles of L&L is "build the self concept." By having Whitney clean up her own mess, she knew she could be responsible. She knew she could control the vacuum and she was very pleased with her accomplishments in the end. I, on the other hand, was also proud of her. She took responsibility for her mess and I didn't have to clean it up.

The other L&L success story involves Kallie. Over the past week or so, Kallie has reverted to hitting, instead of using her words. This creates a whole chain reaction of crying, coming to tell mom, having to hear both sides of the story (which takes a LONG time), instructing to hug and be friends again, and then going back to play--and then repeating this process several times a day. Obviously my method wasn't working because nothing was changing. I don't expect immediate results, but I do expect that over 2-3 days the behavior will change. It didn't. So, I changed my method. After one such drawn out episode last Thursday, I told Kallie in a very sweet voice that girls who don't use their hands properly won't get to use their hands--and that I would tie her hands together if she hit again. She and I laughed about it and then we moved on with our day. Well, Friday morning, sure enough, she decided to hit again. I had long forgotten what I had said the day before, but I used my typical question: What happens when we hit, Kallie? And, she dutifully reminded me, "I'm going to get my hands tied together." Yes. That's right. (Thanks for reminding me...) I pulled out an old nylon and cut off the top and the toe. Then I said, "Do you want your hands in front or in back." She chose front, so I loosely bound her hands together and then said, "OK--go play!" She complained that she couldn't use her hands, which really was the point of all of this. After a little while, we took the nylon off her hands (it was loose enough that she could have taken it off at any point--she just chose to leave it on) and we had a little talk about how not having the freedom to use our hands is not fun. It must have left an impression because she hasn't done it again. I figure there will be a time she will forget and I will remind her about losing her freedom--which, knowing Kallie, will be enough to keep her from hitting again.

The House

Quite a few people have asked for pictures of the house. Here they are! We're signing all of the "under contract" papers today. The inspection will happen next week--and we are praying that it goes well. This home is a foreclosure, and we're not sure how long it has been neglected. But, we will say that it is in great shape for being a foreclosure!

Here's the house. It's yellow with black shutters. I think it needs a red door. We want to remove that big tree blocking the view of the front door.

These is what you see looking straight ahead from the front door. There is a living room immediately to the right of the door. And a bedroom and 1/2 bath on the right of the stairs. To the upper left, there is a decorative ledge that draws your eyes up the 2-story entry. (Oh goodness--I sound like I'm auditioning for HGTV or something! LOL)

This dining room is to the left of the entry. I eventually want the bottom part of the wall to be white with shadowboxes and the top part to be a muted deep teal. That little patch of wood floor you see goes to the kitchen.

This is the kitchen. It's currenly burgundy, but will be cherry red when I get my hands on it. The door on the left (barely visible) is from the garage. The white door on the right is the laundry/mud room. Just in front of the laundry room door is the eating area--and there are french doors that lead out to the patio.

This is the family room, as seen from the kitchen. There is a half wall just to the left of this photo. The family room windows look out on the backyard.

This is the master bath and our absolute LEAST favorite feature of the entire home. We can't stand the crackle painting on the vanity and don't know why someone would even consider doing that. This bathroom is pretty small for a master and does not have a tub! That was one of my requirements for a home, but obviously, the other features outweigh losing that one thing. The kids' bathroom also has double sinks and is a little larger than this one.

This is the view from the side of the back yard. To the left, there are TALL evergreens that make the backyard a bit more private--which is nice because there is a major-ish street on the other side. The shed has a small workbench in it, and there is a tiny garden plot on the other side of it. You can enter the home through the french doors, (you can see the edge on the lower right), or through the mudroom door, which is on the side of the house. You may notice the satellite dishes scattered on the shed roof. Apparently, there are FOUR of them. I wonder why they can't remove one before putting the next one up? They'll all come down when we move in.

So, there it is! I never thought we would find something so well matched to our family. We are certainly excited about this!

How Do I Know?

One of the favorite movies and soundtracks in our family is Enchanted. Whitney can be heard belting the music while she dances and spins in circles wherever and whenever the notion strikes. Her favorite? (This must be sung with staccato emphasis on each word, which is how Whitney sings this part.) "How do I know he loves me?" It was with this song running through my head that I started to think...

The past couple of days, there have been a few things that have happened that remind me how I know Ryan loves me. First of all, one of the hardest things about having a new baby is the lack of sleep. Clayton sleeps well for the most part. But, there are some nights, I only get about 3-4 hours of sleep before he wakes up. Sometimes, when I go in to feed him, I fall asleep in the recliner in his room, sitting straight up with my neck cranked to one side. Not very relaxing. On the nights when I fall asleep in the rocker, I don't feel as energetic the next day. Heaven help the mom with 3 children age 4 and under who doesn't have any energy! So, I usually try to keep myself awake for long enough to get Clayton back to bed. (Usually 15- 30 min.) The other night, I fell asleep in the recliner again around 2:30 a.m. Sometime around 4 a.m., I woke with a start when Clayton's door opened. There was my sweet husband waking me up so I could get back to bed and feel well rested when I got up for the day. He didn't have to get up at 4. He was just helping me get more sleep because he knows how badly I need it.

This morning, as I was getting ready for the day, I noticed that my cell phone was on my husband's dresser. I immediately knew that he had heard it "complaining" it was almost out of juice--and he plugged it in to charge on his dresser. This happens on an almost regular basis. Sometimes, I don't hear my phone signaling in distress. Other times, I hear it, but I just don't care enough to go get it. My husband, on the other hand, cares enough about my phone that he will plug it in for me.

There are, of course, other ways that I know my husband loves me. But, these small things make me so happy because I know my husband is doing them to help me be happy. I couldn't have asked for anyone better!

The Safety of Home

Lately, in her prayers, Kallie has been asking to "please bless us with the safety of home." I think she may have combined a few things she's heard us pray for, but I wanted to know what she meant by it. So I asked. At first she didn't know. And then after a couple of days passed, she said, "Mom, I think it means to help us be safe at home."

In my mind, it became something different as I thought about it. The world is crazy. I don't think anyone can deny that. The speed at which everything moves, the dangers--real or perceived--that "lurk" around every corner, spirituality and morality has become relative.

But, our home is a haven from the world. We generally don't watch a lot of TV--possibly by choice, but more because it's just more noise. I have 3 kids. I don't need more noise. We rarely have the radio on--even in the car. Once again, more noise. I don't mind quiet peaceful music, because that is soothing to a frazzled soul. Our home is one in which the Gospel of Jesus Christ is taught--doctrines which are also soothing to a frazzled soul. These are things which, to me, allow my home to feel safe and secure.

So, as I hear my daughter pray for "the safety of home," I silently second the request. Please let my children, my husband, and myself carry the safety of home with us as we navigate this turbulent world. And please magnify my efforts to make our home a place of safety.

Fun Giveaways!

March seems to be the month of giveaways! I have two to share:

First of all, my friend Heidi is hosting her first ever giveaway HERE. Her friend is offering custom wall letters for your child (or you, I suppose). You should check it out--so cute! (I'm hoping to win this one so I can cross Whitney's wall letters off my TO DO list, where they have been residing for about 2 1/2 years now.)

Also, my friend Shannon is hosting a giveaway of chocolate and lip gloss HERE. If you know me, you know that these are two of my favorite things on the planet! Of course, I'd like to win this one too--for that reason.

Head on over and check them both out!

Riding the Potty Train

Whitney was ready to potty train about 5 months ago. But, there was a new baby. And a new calling. And the holidays were approaching. And I hated potty training the first time around. And... I'm sure I could come up with 35 other reasons not to pursue potty training at that point.

January rolled around. The baby was a bit older. The new calling was not so new anymore. The holidays were behind us. Potty training wasn't THAT bad the first time around, right? So I decided to give it another try.

The result was accident after accident all day every day. I tried not to be frustrated. I tried to show Whitney how FUN it is to use the potty. I tried using a reward system. I tried TWO reward systems. Nothing worked.

Ryan said, "Just give it time. We have to let Whitney do it when she's ready." So, I did. I hushed all of those voices in my head that said, "She's three. Some kids have been potty trained for a year by now. At the rate we're going, we may hit four. Or five. (Please no.)"

And, then, two weeks ago, she ran into the bathroom all by herself and she pooped in the potty. And then, on Sunday, someone in Primary noticed she was doing the potty dance and took her to the bathroom. And then during that week, I found her running to the potty. And then she wore the same diaper for an entire day because she stayed dry. And she refused to wear a pull-up to bed. Or at all. And she was potty trained.

Oh, the rewards systems are still in place. I want her to know that I do what I say I'm going to do. But, most of the time, she forgets. Potty training has not been about rewards for her. But, about being a big girl. She has been dry for 5 days straight. And she is triumphant.

Even when she went to the baby sitter's house. Even when she's playing outside with her sister. Even when she's dressed up like a princess. She makes it to the potty on time. Because she's a big girl.

And everyone at our house is thrilled because she did it herself.

Third Time's the Charm

A few years ago, I was sitting with my friend on the steps outside my Wymount apartment. We were chatting about having children. At the time, I had my two girls and my friend's third child was several months old. She commented that sometimes she wished she had been married sooner, so she could have a lot of children. I had recently gone through some tough times related to having babies and wasn't sure I could handle more than the two I had--so I couldn't share that thought process. And, as I talked with her, a thought came to me. People who have more than two kids must really love kids.

At the time Kallie was 3 and Whitney was 1 1/2. While they were still young, it seemed that there was still plenty of "me" time. I was able to sleep through the night and get up and exercise each morning. I also had time to accomplish various projects and get the apartment clean. Watching my friend, (who really is a great mom--I still look up to her!), it seemed that she was involved with kids from dawn until dusk. I remember her saying she wanted to get up early in the morning before the kids woke--and all I could think was, "Your baby just started sleeping through the night! Give yourself a break!" To be quite honest, I wasn't sure that I enjoyed children and/or parenting enough to enjoy a third child. For the record, I really love my kids--I just wasn't sure I loved children enough in general to make that difficult jump to three.

Now that I actually have three, my theory stands true in my own life. My days are filled from dawn to dusk with mothering. My children have become my most important project. Of course, they were important before--but most free time is now filled with children. Having a third child has been the easiest transition yet. I find myself wanting so many of the same things my friend expressed to me that afternoon. I would love to have a houseful of children and those early morning hours seem like the best time to wake and prepare for the day ahead. There isn't a lot of time for projects. Some have been put on hold indefinitely. And, my "me" time has significantly decreased. But, this doesn't bother me at all. To everything there is a season--and there is no better time than now to enjoy being a mother--to throw myself into it heart and soul and soak it up as much as possible.

Post-Script:
Just for the record, this doesn't mean I never have bad days. I've been reflecting on embracing motherhood the past couple of days and these have been my thoughts. And, one more thing, I understand that the number of children you are able to have doesn't mean you do or don't love mothering. This is just the learning process that I have experienced on the path of my own motherhood.

The eyes have it...

We've been sickies for the past week at our house. The cold symptoms have hit some of us harder than others...and Whitney is still bearing the brunt of it. She's so sick that you can still see it in her eyes. (Come to think of it, she's the only one on antibiotics. Strange.) Anyway--because of this, I've let the girls watch a movie in the morning the past few days to keep Whitney resting so she can get over this darn cold!

This morning, Whitney requested "Lost Nemo." I took advantage of the time to put the baby to bed and send out a few e-mails. I came downstairs when there was about 30 min. left in the movie. Kallie turned to me and said, "Mom, I was so happy that I got tears in my eyes."

"Why?"

"Because we are a family forever."

We are. And, that makes me so happy that it gives me tears in my eyes, too.

The Crock Pot Conundrum

I got a crock pot as a wedding gift. Yes, it was really given to us, but I think everyone understands why I say I got it.

It's one of the gifts I've used the most in the past 6 years. And, let me tell you, I love that thing to pieces. Literally. Both handles have fallen off and there's something rattling around inside...maybe a screw? Maybe a plastic handle-connecting piece? It still works great--but the whole rattling thing makes us uneasy.

I'm sure you can imagine my excitement last Christmas when I opened a shiny new crock pot! I no longer feel the need to wince when I plug it in for fear that somehow, that screw was going to lodge itself in a precarious spot and cause a catastrophe upon connection with an electical source. The new one is completely intact and rattle-free! I love my new crock pot. And, it has already slow-cooked many delicious meals for us. But, one problem still remains.

When I put something into the crock pot, it's usually early in the day and I'm not really very hungry. However, right around lunch time, delicious aromas begin to sneak out from under the glass lid covering the enormous stoneware pot. Those aromas then seek me out, wherever I happen to be, and wriggle their way up into my olfactories. And I think it's going to be a great dinner.

By the time lunch rolls around, I'm unconsciously in the mood for whatever is simmering away in the crock. So, I usually end up putting together a little of this and a little of that for lunch, because this and that would really hit the spot. And, I eat lunch. And it does hit the spot.

It's only after lunch that I realize what I ate involves the same ingredients that are bubbling away in the crock pot. I'm one who doesn't like to eat the same thing twice in a row. Even two days in a row is pushing it for me. And, suddenly, dinner doesn't sound so great anymore.